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A Waist Is a Terrible Thing to Mind (standard:humor, 913 words)
Author: GodspenmanAdded: Jun 01 2015Views/Reads: 739/567Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
If the Lord can handle my size, I need not listen to anybody else.

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exercise and get on a diet. I would like to inform them I am on what I 
call the twelve-step program. I have put a lot of thought and planning 
in this program. There are six steps to the refrigerator and then six 
steps back to my recliner. This twelve-step program has worked 
marvelously for me. 

As I was watching these infomercials I was not getting sleepy, but I was
getting hungry. So, I put my twelve-step program in place and as I was 
watching the rest of those infomercials, I was eating some nice creamy 
ice cream along with some crunchy candy and to ease my conscience, a 
diet soda. 

What could be healthier than eating like that while watching some
infomercials on dieting and exercise? I think the only exercise I 
really need is watching those exercising on TV. And the thing I notice 
about these people exercising on TV, they do not really need to 
exercise. Everyone seemed to be rather skinny. 

But as for me, I want to fit in with the normal people of this world.
After all, I would like to show to the world by my “plumpness” that my 
wife is the greatest cook in the world. 

One of my favorite Bible verses is in the Old Testament. “And the priest
shall burn them upon the altar: it is the food of the offering made by 
fire for a sweet savour: all the fat is the Lord's” (Leviticus 3:16). 

If the Lord can handle my size, I need not listen to anybody else. 


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