Herth goes to Hell (standard:humor, 1070 words)
Author: timster	Added: Jun 06 2015	Views/Reads: 2147/1528	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
A strange adventure, even for Herth

Click here to read the first 75 lines of the story


“Are you saying I'm in hell?” 

‘Yes you are.” 

“What did I do to deserve to come here?” 

“I don't know yet, still waiting on the paperwork.  Would you like a
small tour; since you will be spending forever down here.” 

“Why not, the reporter in me wants to know.” 

“Hell is a funny place; I can make you see what I want you to.  It is
not a pleasant place.  Look at that cell over there.  What do see 
Herth?” 

“A black sheep in a room full of mirrors.” 

“What is the name above the cell?” 

“Osama Bin Laden, really is that him?” 

“Yes it is Herth, now let me show you what he see's.” 

“Why he is a Rabbi.” 

“That is what he will see for eternity.  Can you think of a better
ending for such a lovely guy?  I Love my job.” 

“I can see that.  So why do I see black sheep, I kind of like sheep.
Doesn't seem right to me, does it you?” 

“I will explain it to you once I receive you paperwork.  Do you want to
see more?” 

“Well O.K.” 

This place is scary, kind of like a Wal-Mart.  I was once in on a trip
for our friendly people of The Falklands to understand different 
cultures and they are of a different culture. 

“Take a look at this one.” 

“Why it is empty.” 

“What are the names above?” You are not the brightest person I have ever
met.” 

“Thanks, I think.  It says Bill and Hilary Clinton, but they aren't dead
yet.” 

“Got to think ahead, they will be here soon.” 

“So what will they see?” 

“Each other for eternity.” 

“You are evil.” 

“Why thank you Herth, do you want to see more?” 

“No, I think I have seen enough.  It seems like my life will soon be
over.” 

“Your life is already over; I am just going to have fun with you
forever.  Your paperwork is in, I will be back with you momentarily, 
have a seat on the bench with the two sheep.” 

It seems I have been sitting here for an eternity with two smelly sheep,
oh shouldn't say that, I hope that it is not with these two. 

“Herth” 

“Did you get my paperwork?  Wow you have changed, you not a sheepdog
anymore.  Nice horns by the way.” 

“Why thank you.  There seems to be a problem here.” 

“Well give me the bad news.” 

“Herth, you don't belong here yet.” 

“You mean this was a mistake.  Whew.  How could you make such a mistake?
You scared the hell out of me.” 

“Ah mistakes happen every century or so.  Usually every mistake ends up
back here after a while, but that is up to you.” 

“Hey, those to sheep are people now.  They look like Hitler and Stalin.”


“Herthy boy, you are very good with your history.  Yes, they are my
strong arm men.  They escort everybody down.  Can you think of a better 
two?  Imagine what they see you as.” 

“A Jew and a Czar?” 

“Very good Herth, it would be nice to have you around.  Boys take him
back up.” 

“Thanks for the tour Devil.  If you don't mind, I would rather not see
you again.” 

“That is up to you.  See you later Herth.” 

Think this corner looks good; I don't want to rile them up.  It is
getting cooler, I need a jacket. 

“Get out fool.” 

“Just as fast as I can.  Nice meeting you two.” 

“Herth, Herth. Please wake up.” 

“Helga, is that you?” 

“Yes Herth, we were worried you weren't coming back to us.  Fluffy and
Saffy are in the waiting room.  Would you like to see them?” 

“No Helga, not right now, I have seen enough sheep lately.” 

“Oh Herth, I can't wait to take you home, so I can take you down.” 

“No Helga, I don't want to go down.” 

“This has been Herth Gilmore reporting.” 


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