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Birthdays, anniversaries and other things I usually forget (standard:humor, 910 words)
Author: GodspenmanAdded: Aug 16 2015Views/Reads: 795/532Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Every great marriage is based upon forgetting and remembering the right things.

I cannot tell you how many times the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage
has explained the difference between things to remember and things to 
be forgotten. Without boasting, I believe I could give the lecture back 
to her word for word. 

I know some things are better put into that black abyss called
forgetfulness, to be remembered no more, not even when they would help 
win an argument. According to my wife, forgetting some things is more 
important than winning an argument. Not that I would know. I never win 
an argument. 

Also, certain things, which, if forgotten, will bring great stress,
particularly to Yours Truly. 

I could not agree with her point of view more. I know some things should
be forgotten while other things should be remembered. After all, it 
only makes sense. Nobody should forget everything and certainly, nobody 
could remember everything. It would simply be impossible. Anybody in 
his or her right mind should know this. This gives me an out. I cannot 
remember when I have ever been in my right mind. So, you know what is 

Here is my problem. I know some things are to be remembered, other
things are to be forgotten, but for the life of me, I do not know which 
ones are which. What do I forget and what do I remember? 

For example, my wife wants me to remember her birthday, but forget how
old she is. I cannot tell you how many times I have reversed this 
situation. I am prone to forget her birthday, but remember how old she 
is. In fact, there are those rare moments when I have added a few years 
to her age. If you do not think this has gotten me into trouble, you 
have not done any serious thinking in a long time. 

I know the birthdays come every year, but in spite of their predictable
regularity, I seem somehow to forget. 

I learned an important lesson in life. It is one thing to forget a
birthday, but it is quite another animal to forget your wedding 
anniversary. However, here is the rub. Unlike birthdays, not only am I 
to remember the date, but the number of the anniversary, as well. 

Even though my wife and I share the same wedding anniversary, I forget
to remember the date. 

I have used a variety of excuses to cover up for this mental delinquency
on my part. 

The first year I forgot our wedding anniversary I come up with a classy
excuse, "My dear, you do not look a year older and so I forgot. How am 
I to remember time goes by when with you, time stands still?" 

This worked the first year, but it has not worked since. Not that I have
not tried, believe me. 

Another excuse I tried that did not work out very well was, "Honey, I
deliberately forgot our anniversary because I did not want to remind 
you how old we really are." 

I thought if I included myself in the age category I could get away with
it. Let me just say, it did not work. 

One year, I bought my wife her anniversary present in June. However, I
had forgotten all about it and just happened to run across it one 
Saturday in October. Since our anniversary is in August, this did not 
help me at all. 

This year we are celebrating our 44th wedding anniversary. It is a
little confusing to me because if it is the 44th anniversary my wife 
was five when we got married. It is amazing to me how her birthday does 
not keep up with our anniversary. I think I have figured it out. For 
every three anniversaries, she gains only one year on her birthday. How 
else can I explain it? 

I still have a problem, though. Now that I remembered our anniversary
this year, what do I buy her for a present? After 44 years, I have 

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