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I’m so Itchy I Don’t Know Where to Start Scratching (standard:humor, 904 words)
Author: GodspenmanAdded: Oct 12 2015Views/Reads: 761/494Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Procrastination never scratches where it really itches.

In our house, we have an ongoing debate. The Gracious Mistress of the
Parsonage claims I am the king of procrastination. 

At first, I did not quite understand what she was talking about and
asked if I could get back to her on that question. 

She has the idea that I put things off until the last minute, then,
according to her, I'm in a panic to get it done. 

I am not saying she is right; she just might have a good point there.
I'll get back to you on that. 

Before I do anything, I like to give it plenty of thought, sit in my
chair and meditate on that project until I really have it clearly 
developed in my mind from beginning to end. 

The problem is my wife thinks my meditation is closer to taking a nap
than meditation. She just does not understand the dynamics of 
meditation. Sure, when I am meditating on a project, it may seem like I 
am taking a nap. 

It takes an awful lot of meditating on a subject for me to form a good
plan. I like to know what I am going to do every step of the way and I 
do not like to get started until I have it completely fixed in my mind. 

This is particularly true when it comes to the infamous “honey-do-list.”
Sometimes that list is so long and complicated I just do not know where 
to start. Starting, as you well know, is the first step in getting it 

If you do not start a project right, it will not end up right. That is
the argument I try to give to my wife who counters with, “The first 
step in doing the project is to start doing the project.” 

I am trying to get her to understand my “starting a project” begins with
some deep meditation on that project. I cannot help it if that 
meditation period is comprehensive. 

“Could it be,” my wife suggested, “that you're so itchy you don't know
where to start to scratch?” 

Well, I could not have been more offended in my life. When I am itchy I
know when and where to scratch. In fact, right now I am getting a 
little itchy on the subject of procrastination. However, I will wait 
until tomorrow to do anything about it. 

I must confess I do put things off at times. I learned one thing in
life; sometimes when you put things off long enough, they do not need 
doing. I do not know how many times I tried doing something and by the 
time I got it done it was no longer necessary. I want to be very 
careful that what I start needs to be finished. 

My wife, if you will permit me, is super ambitious. When a project comes
to the forefront she wants to get it started and finished right away. 

For example. Take Christmas shopping. 

When it comes to Christmas shopping for myself, I usually wait until
Christmas Eve. That is the traditional time for me to do Christmas 
shopping. Then, if you shop on Christmas Eve and they run out of 
something you can always say, “I wanted to get you this, but they were 
all out at the time.” 

Not so for the other resident in the house. She begins Christmas
shopping in the month of January. Yes, I said January! 

Before we put away all the Christmas decorations she has prepared a list
for next year's Christmas gifts. I really do not know how she does it. 
Even while people are opening their presents, she is thinking of what 
to get them next year. 

Land sakes alive! 

Sitting around the Christmas tree opening our presents, I am literally

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