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An Old Geezer Faces Another New Year (standard:humor, 902 words)
Author: GodspenmanAdded: Jan 02 2016Views/Reads: 770/447Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Just because something is new does not mean it is better and just because something is old does not mean it needs to be replaced. In fact, our country needs to get back to those “old paths.

Here we go again, tricked into thinking it is a New Year when there is
absolutely nothing new about it. It is the same ole, same ole, Déjà vu 
all over again. The person who invented this “New Year" ought to be 
sued for defamation of characterization. 

I suppose everybody has their own definition of “new,” but when I think
of new I think of something that has not been before not the recycling 
is something old. 

I have seen more New Years than I can remember and have concluded that
it is a misnomer. The one thing I have observed through the years is 
that every New Year I get older. What is up with that? If I could stop 
the New Year, could I stop getting older? I would like to try at least! 

If the New Year was actually new, I would get newer not older. This has
brought me to a level of grumpiness that I'm not sure I can get over. 

I do remember those times when I celebrated the New Year and it was all
because I had no idea what was going on. Things were not getting new, 
rather they were getting old. Perhaps the newness of the New Year was 
just the first day of January. I can go along with that. 

I have a few suggestions along this line. Instead of calling it the New
Year why don't we call it the old year all over again? That would make 
some sense to me. I do not mind doing things over again, but I do not 
want to be tricked into thinking that I am doing something new. 

I have a little difference with the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage
along this line. 

I know she did not invent New Year's resolutions, but she is the biggest
proponent of this idea. She suggests I come up with a list of New 
Year's resolutions and is quite insistent about it. 

All through the year she will query me, “How are you doing with your New
Year's resolutions?” 

“I'm still working on them,” I say to get away from that subject as
quickly as possible. I am so grateful that she does not ask me which 
resolution I have completed because I cannot remember any of the New 
Year's resolutions from the last year. 

However, when you come to this aspect of the New Year's resolution how
many of those are actually new? In order to make peace with my wife, I 
always come up with a list of New Year's resolutions, which if looked 
into would resemble almost identically last year's New Year's 
resolutions. This is where writing things down can be very detrimental 
to a good solid marriage. 

I have memorized these New Year's resolutions, or so I say. Actually, I
have more to do with my memory than cluttering it up with a bunch of 
New Year's resolutions. 

Perhaps our politicians should pass some kind of a law saying that you
cannot make a New Year's resolution until the Old Year's resolutions 
are fully fulfilled. That would make a lot more sense to me. 

Another issue I have with this New Year montage has to do with
birthdays. During this New Year, I will get one year older. I object to 
that most vigorously. I think that is very presumptuous of this New 
Year to insist I get older. If it were really a New Year it would do 
something to help me get newer and not older. 

Getting older has become very monotonous to me. I know every birthday is
new, but what overrides that is I am getting older on that birthday. I 
am very confused about all of this. How can a new birthday make you 
older? Something is wrong here somewhere. 

I find myself at that stage in life where I am looking for my second
childhood. But the New Year keeps insisting I keep getting older. How 
can I enjoy a second childhood when I have this aspect of getting 
older? If it is my birthday, I should be the one to determine if I am 
getting older or younger. 

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