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Who's Smarter Than A Fifth-Grader? (standard:humor, 904 words)
Author: GodspenmanAdded: Apr 17 2016Views/Reads: 692/0Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
As long as we have leaders who look to themselves for wisdom, our country will never go in the right direction.

Sometimes an idea will take possession of my mind and literally run with
it. Most of the time when an idea sees the condition of my mind it 
slowly walks away shaking its head. Someone said a mind is a terrible 
thing to waste, but I'm sure they had no knowledge of my mind. 

Then there is that odd moment when an idea completely disregards the
condition of my mind and takes over. Such has been the case lately. 

The idea that has taken up residence in my mind lately has to do with
the condition of the leadership in our country. I have reached that 
glad time of life when I have the perspective of looking back over 
several decades. 

The consequence of looking back is that I have concluded certain things
are not as good as they used to be. I know I'm not as good as I used to 
be, in fact the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage suggests that I 
never was. Of course, I bow to her perspective, which goes back further 
than mine. 

The focus of this decline centers on political leaders. Never in the
history of our country have so few done so much to confuse so many. I 
will not say that the average politician is dumber than dirt out of my 
deep respect for dirt. At the end of my life, my body will be committed 
to the dirt and at that time, I do not want the dirt to have an ax to 
grind with me and take it out on my body. 

The evidence, however, suggested the whole political group shares one
living brain cell. The problem with this is we never know which 
politician has the live brain cell at any given time. The wattage of 
this brain cell is so low it is barely noticeable. If it were not for 
polls, the average politician would have nothing to say; but be sure, 
he or she would say it with a great deal of eloquence. 

It was at this point that an idea entered the dark corridors of my
dormant mind. One evening recently, my wife and I had finished the 
day's labor and nestled in our living room to relax by watching a few 
moments of television. It was our fortune to see a brand-new program, 
“Are You Smarter Than a Fifth-Grader?” To say that we were delighted 
with this new show is like stating peanut butter goes quite nicely with 
grape jelly. 

The object of the game was to give questions to adults from grades one
through five. Helping the adult would be a team of fifth-graders. All 
the questions would be from the aforementioned grades of which the 
average adult should know the answers. (Duh.) 

After watching this several times both my wife and I noted that no adult
was able to answer all the questions. To this day, they have not found 
any adult smarter than a fifth-grader. 

This is where my idea began dancing the tango up and down the corridors
of my mind. Why don't we take this idea to Washington, D.C.? Let us see 
if there is a politician smarter than a fifth grader. 

Not to tip my hat, but I think I know the answer to this one, and I
don't need any help lines. 

What would happen is this; we would gather the top fifth-graders from
all across our country. This would prove once and for all the validity 
of the “no child left behind” program. 

These children would come to Washington, D.C. for a questioning program,
fully funded by generous donations from every politician on Capitol 
Hill. Those who do not give a generous donation to this program would 
immediately be dismissed and sent home to live out the rest of their 
days in obscurity and never allowed to hold a public office again. 

One by one, each politician would stand before these fifth-graders and
answer questions. Children all across our country in grades one through 
five would submit questions. This would have the dual effect of 
introducing children to the world of politics as well as introducing 
politicians, probably for the very first time, to the real citizens of 
our country. 

If any political leader fails to answer any question or answers it
incorrectly, he must look into the camera and say, “I'm not smarter 
than a fifth- grader.” But that's not the end of it. Here begins the 
genius of my idea. 

When a politician finishes this portion of the program, he or she then
must resign his political office and give it to the fifth-grader who 
answered the question correctly. After all, if the fifth-grader knows 
more than the politician, who should be making decisions for our 

If any politician makes it all the way through, there is one final
question I know will stump him or her. I have yet to hear of any 
politician who knows the answer to this question. 

The final question will be, “What is the official language of the United
States of America?” 

I take comfort in what the Bible says. “Trust in the Lord with all thine
heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways 
acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.” (Proverbs 3:5-6 KJV). 

As long as we have leaders who look to themselves for wisdom, our
country will never go in the right direction. 


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