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Not Smart Enough to Be an Idiot (standard:humor, 904 words)
Author: GodspenmanAdded: Jun 19 2016Views/Reads: 644/334Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
I suppose I can’t help being an idiot, but I certainly don’t have to be a fool as Solomon describes it.

In my experience, everybody has a slice of “idiot” somewhere hiding
inside them. The trick is not to let it show itself at the wrong time. 

Since everybody is an idiot to some degree or other, maybe we should not
be so hard on people. After all, not everybody is smart enough to be a 
full blown idiot. 

Throughout my life, I have attempted to utilize my “idiot slice” to my
own advantage. So far I have had good progress on this aspect of my 
life, just ask the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage. With a great 
deal of affection she will often say, “You are one of the best idiots I 
have ever known.” 

Isn't love a wonderful thing? 

Although I own up to my “idiot slice” many people for some reason, are
not able to do that. After all, if everybody has a slice of idiocy, 
then what's the problem? 

This came to me recently when a small incident happened. I do not quite
remember what brought this incident to be, it could be anything these 
days, but the outcome is what got me. 

This guy looked at me with the meanest look, shook his fist at me and
said, “Are you an idiot or something?” 

Normally I take these things as they come and just move on with my life.
But for some reason that “idiot slice” in me kicked into high gear. And 
I responded, “Which one do you think I am?” 

He blinked and said, "Wh-utt?" 

So I said, "Do you think I'm an ‘idiot' or a ‘something'?” 

“After all,” I continued, “there is a vast difference between an ‘idiot'
and a ‘something.' What am I?” 

That was last week some time and I think he is still trying to figure
out what in the world I was talking about. Some people just aren't 
smart enough to be a plain old idiot. 

I believe there is a little bit of intelligence in every idiot. After
all, most idiots are smart enough to get a driver's license. And boy, 
do they drive like idiots. 

Just yesterday, I was trying to drive across town and I encountered so
many idiots driving that I was tempted to run some of them over. Don't 
those idiot drivers make you furious? 

I know a few people who are simply nuts, but that is a different story
altogether. Being an idiot takes a lot of hard work and practice. Not 
everybody is smart enough to be an idiot. 

One driver I encountered, who at first glance I thought was an idiot but
he turned out not smart enough to be an idiot. I was driving on my side 
of the road and going the speed limit. He was behind me and wanted to 
go faster than the speed limit. That's okay if nobody's in front of 
you, but I was in front of him and he couldn't get around me. 

He honked his horn, hoping, I suppose, that I would get out of his way
and let him go. However, I was more of an idiot, so I ignored him. One 
good thing about being an idiot is that you can ignore people who do 
not quite come up to the status of being an idiot themselves. 

Finally, we got to a place where he could pass me. I just assumed he
would pass and that would be the last I would see of him. When he got 
beside me, he began yelling and screaming and I could not understand 
anything he was saying. 

I did figure out that he must have been a very religious man because he
was pointing me to heaven. I guess he was encouraging me to go to 
heaven. I smiled and shook my head, which only made him a little 
angrier, for some reason. I did notice though, that the finger he was 
using to point to heaven was not the finger I would have used. I guess 
it's a matter of confusion. This guy was not smart enough to be an 

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