|Pardon My French, S’il Vous Plaît (standard:humor, 908 words)|
|Author: Godspenman||Added: Sep 11 2016||Views/Reads: 589/341||Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)|
|Having the right word and understanding it is the glory of living.|
When I was young, a saying went around, “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words/names will never hurt me.” Supposedly it was to make me ignore people saying nasty things about me. For the most part, I am not too impressed by the words/names people throw my direction, but I do duck when they throw sticks and stones at me. I ducked most of them. It is not the sticks and stones that I duck that I worry about; it is the ones that I don't duck. I know we live in a PC culture and it is a culture that I cannot keep up with. I am not sure anybody really keeps up with this kind of thing. Every day there is a new word you are not allowed to use or you might offend somebody. I try my best not to offend anybody but I must confess that it is almost impossible. Some people just do not have anything bouncing between their ears. Like last week, for example. I was minding my own business and I am not quite sure what started the whole situation and I do not know who was responsible for it. If it was me, I really did not know what I did. Suddenly, the man next to me started to scream all kinds of foul language. Believe me; I think foul language is for the birds. When this man realized what he had done, he said the inevitable, “Pardon my French.” And he smiled a greasy, slinky smile. I was not very much impressed with this turkey's gobbling. If I had an egg or two on me, I would have thrown it at him with all the strength I had. I was supposed to forget all that foul language he used because he said the magic phrase, “Pardon my French.” In high school, we had to take a foreign language and so I took three years of first year French. I must say I flunked each year, but that is beside the point. Even though I was not very good at French, I knew that what this man was saying was not in any French dictionary I had ever looked at. I was tempted to look up my French teacher and ask her what these “French words” meant. But, I'm not a turkey. If I was French, and I am not, I certainly would have been offended by him referring to this foul language that he used as part of the French language. It's people like this that I would like to give them a little bit of their own medicine. Here is how I would do it. I'm not French, but I am Pennsylvania Dutch. Therefore, I would like to go up to this “French-speaking” person and slap him soundly on the right cheek and then say, “Pardon my Pennsylvania Dutch.” I am not too sure I could get away with it, but there have been many incidences when I certainly was tempted to try it. I must confess I lean towards being offended when people around me use coarse and foul language. However, in our culture it is okay to use foul language whenever you want to. Just as long as you do not use other very sensitive and offensive words. Every day this word list grows longer and I am not sure who is in charge of policing politically incorrect words. I found some I thought were a little bit silly. The word “Alive” for example is, “temporarily metabolically abled.” I do not know who came up with that but I am still trying to process that definition. Then there is one word I am a little concerned about and that is “Bald,” which, according to the dictionary here means, “follicularly challenged.” And I thought I was just losing hair! Then there is a list of other words. “Body Odor” is “non discretionary fragrance.” How many fragrances are there? Click here to read the rest of this story (35 more lines)
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