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Thoughts, Plots and Other Dangerous Activities (standard:humor, 911 words)
Author: GodspenmanAdded: Sep 18 2016Views/Reads: 615/368Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
When my thoughts focus on Christ, it lifts me above my circumstances.

One day this past week, I got up a little earlier than usual and to keep
from waking up the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage I got my coffee 
and went to the back porch to enjoy a quiet early morning. 

As I sat on the back porch drinking my coffee and taking in the early
morning atmosphere, I noticed a bunch of birds sitting on the fence in 
the backyard. They were squawking at me as though I was the worst 
person in their world. I believe what they were screaming about was 
that I had not filled the bird feeder yet. 

I screeched back at them and they only looked at me quizzically and kept
on squawking. Obviously, they could not understand my accent. 

Watching them for a few moments, I began to think. That is a very
dangerous thing to do, especially so early in the morning and 
especially with a hot cup of coffee in your hand. 

I began thinking about the fact that whenever I put the feed in the bird
feeder none of the birds ever come and thank me for it. However, when I 
do not put feed in the birdfeeder they squawk and yell at me as though 
I had committed the unpardonable sin. 

That's gratitude for you. 

I tried explaining that I would put feed in the bird feeder when I got
around to it. But right now, I explained, I'm just enjoying a quiet 
moment with my cup of coffee. Now, could you just leave me alone for a 
moment? And, quit all this fowl language. 

I took another long sip of coffee and began reflecting more about this
and how this was very typical of people. They complain when they don't 
get what they want, but when they get what they want to get rarely do 
they thank anybody. Their assumption is that they deserve what they 

It reminded me of an incident in the life of Jesus when he healed 10
lepers. Only one of those lepers ever came back to thank Jesus for what 
he did. That seems to be very typical. 

How much of what I expect do I really deserve? 

Thinking about this brought me to the place of trying to figure out some
little plot against these birds in my backyard. If they are not 
thankful for what I give them and if they are screeching at me when 
they do not get what they want, what could I do to get even with these 
little feathered rascals? 

As I continued sipping my coffee, my brain was running at high speed
trying to figure out how I could trick these birds into being a little 
more appreciative of what I do for them. After all, if I did not feed 
them they would not get fed. 

One thought I had was I could put feed in the bird feeder and then tape
shut all of the openings so that they could see the feed but they 
couldn't get to it. I liked that idea. Oh, how it would make them so 
aggravated to see all that food there and not able to get to it. 

The more I thought about this idea the more devious my thinking became. 

What if I would build something, like a trap, and put feed in the inside
so that when they tried to get to it they would be trapped and could 
not get out. I could watch them and laugh and laugh and laugh. 

They could not get to the feed and they could not get out of the feeder.
Oh, how I like that idea. 

Soon my mind was putting out plot after plot getting even with these
rascally, feathered minions teaching them a lesson or two. I was so 
impressed with all of these plots that I had to get a paper and pencil 
and start jotting them down. This was serious with me. 

Suddenly, I heard a quiet voice from inside the door saying, “What are
you doing so early?” 

Looking around, there my wife stood at the door looking at me with the

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