|I’ll Do It First Thing Tomorrow (standard:humor, 912 words)|
|Author: Godspenman||Added: Feb 19 2017||Views/Reads: 593/331||Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)|
|You would think being a husband as long as I have been I would have learned the fine art of negotiating with my wife. And trust me, it is an artistic creation.|
You would think being a husband as long as I have been I would have learned the fine art of negotiating with my wife. And trust me, it is an artistic creation. When I got married, somebody told me that marriage was a 50-50 proposition, which being the naïve young man that I was, believed it entirely. The problem I have discovered is that 50 from a man's point of view may not necessarily be 50 from a woman's point of view. If I knew then what I know now, I would have asked that person to define what they meant by 50. Through the years, I discovered that at times it is a 25-75 split. Other times it is a 0-100. Nobody can be 100% right all the time unless of course they are married to a husband. When men get together, they talk about sports, hunting, cars and so forth. When women get together, they talk about how to deal with their husbands. I know it does not sound fair, but then it is our fault as men for not getting our act together. Although, I must admit that at this point in my life I do not have any regrets. The only thing that I have trouble with is the word “tomorrow.” I am not quite sure what that word means from my wife's perspective. From my perspective, the word “tomorrow” is just a way of putting something off and possibly not even doing it. I never really thought anything of it until recently. To me the word “tomorrow” was just a casual word I used to postpone things. It was not until last week that it really came to the forefront. The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage asked me to do something for her. I was really busy at the time, I'm not sure what I was busy doing, but I was not paying too much attention. I smiled at her and said, “Okay.” Then, I went back to doing whatever I was doing. The next day she approached me and said, “Did you do what I asked you to do yesterday?” I really was not quite up to date on what she asked me to do yesterday, but I said, “No, but I'll do it tomorrow.” To be fair, I actually forgot about it. I did not mean to forget about it, but it does not change the fact that I forgot about it. The next day she queried me rather sternly, “Did you do what I asked you to do the other day?” At this point I was marinating in that husband fog that seems to plague every husband and so I said, “No, but I'll do it first thing tomorrow for sure.” If I thought that was the end of the conversation, I was thinking in vain. “Today,” she said as sternly as I have ever heard her speak, “is the tomorrow you promise to do it.” Now I am swimming in that husband fog. How in the world can today be tomorrow? At this point, I did not know if she was confused or if I was confused. To keep things safe, I will admit to being the one confused. “Yesterday,” she began explaining, “you said that tomorrow you would do the task I asked you to do. Well,” she continued, “this is that tomorrow!” For the life of me, I could not understand why today was actually tomorrow. Then she said something along the line that tomorrow would actually be today. What I want to know is, is today tomorrow or is Click here to read the rest of this story (38 more lines)
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