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I’ll Do It First Thing Tomorrow (standard:humor, 912 words)
Author: GodspenmanAdded: Feb 19 2017Views/Reads: 593/331Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
You would think being a husband as long as I have been I would have learned the fine art of negotiating with my wife. And trust me, it is an artistic creation.

You would think being a husband as long as I have been I would have
learned the fine art of negotiating with my wife. And trust me, it is 
an artistic creation. 

When I got married, somebody told me that marriage was a 50-50
proposition, which being the naïve young man that I was, believed it 

The problem I have discovered is that 50 from a man's point of view may
not necessarily be 50 from a woman's point of view. If I knew then what 
I know now, I would have asked that person to define what they meant by 

Through the years, I discovered that at times it is a 25-75 split. Other
times it is a 0-100. Nobody can be 100% right all the time unless of 
course they are married to a husband. 

When men get together, they talk about sports, hunting, cars and so

When women get together, they talk about how to deal with their

I know it does not sound fair, but then it is our fault as men for not
getting our act together. 

Although, I must admit that at this point in my life I do not have any
regrets. The only thing that I have trouble with is the word 

I am not quite sure what that word means from my wife's perspective.
From my perspective, the word “tomorrow” is just a way of putting 
something off and possibly not even doing it. 

I never really thought anything of it until recently. To me the word
“tomorrow” was just a casual word I used to postpone things. It was not 
until last week that it really came to the forefront. 

The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage asked me to do something for her.
I was really busy at the time, I'm not sure what I was busy doing, but 
I was not paying too much attention. I smiled at her and said, “Okay.” 
Then, I went back to doing whatever I was doing. 

The next day she approached me and said, “Did you do what I asked you to
do yesterday?” 

I really was not quite up to date on what she asked me to do yesterday,
but I said, “No, but I'll do it tomorrow.” To be fair, I actually 
forgot about it. I did not mean to forget about it, but it does not 
change the fact that I forgot about it. 

The next day she queried me rather sternly, “Did you do what I asked you
to do the other day?” 

At this point I was marinating in that husband fog that seems to plague
every husband and so I said, “No, but I'll do it first thing tomorrow 
for sure.” 

If I thought that was the end of the conversation, I was thinking in

“Today,” she said as sternly as I have ever heard her speak, “is the
tomorrow you promise to do it.” 

Now I am swimming in that husband fog. How in the world can today be
tomorrow? At this point, I did not know if she was confused or if I was 
confused. To keep things safe, I will admit to being the one confused. 

“Yesterday,” she began explaining, “you said that tomorrow you would do
the task I asked you to do. Well,” she continued, “this is that 

For the life of me, I could not understand why today was actually
tomorrow. Then she said something along the line that tomorrow would 
actually be today. What I want to know is, is today tomorrow or is 

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