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Black Eye Causes Quandary of the First Order (standard:humor, 924 words)
Author: GodspenmanAdded: Apr 23 2017Views/Reads: 218/81Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
It is inevitable that quandaries will come. Some from out of the blue and some of my own creation. The comforting truth is, God will always "revive me" in His own special way.
 



Black Eye Causes Quandary of the First Order Dr. James L. Snyder 

Quandaries come in a variety of sizes, shapes and colors. As someone who
is somewhat of a connoisseur in this area, I can readily attest to 
this. However, many do not realize quandaries come in two categories. 

First are those quandaries that come about through no fault of the
person in said quandary. For all practical purposes (and those in a 
quandary are usually not practical), it is impossible to adequately 
prepare for such an event in life. 

Second are self-imposed quandaries. This, unfortunately, is the area
where I flounder the most. To be perfectly honest, and I'm not 
suggesting that I'm perfect; I have created most of the havoc in my 
life. 

Believe me, I would like to put the blame on someone other than myself
in many of these situations but, alas, I am to blame. What I am about 
to relate belongs to the first category. 

I found myself in a quandary recently through no fault of mine. And yet,
I'm not able to prove it. This is the most discouraging thing. I know 
it was not my fault, but nobody will believe me. 

Through the years, I have adopted a certain nocturnal procedure. When I
get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom I keep my eyes 
closed. There is a very simple reason for this. 

One, I know exactly where I am going, so I don't need to open my eyes. 

Two, I do not want my body to know that I'm awake. I want to fool my
body into believing I'm asleep. 

I used to do what everybody else does. Get up, open my eyes and go to
the bathroom. However, whenever I did, my body thought I was up for the 
night and try as I might, I could not convince my body to go back to 
sleep until I made one trip to the kitchen, and you know what that 
meant. Exactly . . . the refrigerator. 

This kitchen appliance holds no appeal for me, but I do enjoy the
contents. Moreover, my body knows this only too well. So, I devised a 
plan to outwit my body. 

Some people would let their body dictate to them, but I am not of that
breed. When I have to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, I 
am careful not to open my eyes. 

With this strategy, I am able to get up, go to the bathroom and return
without my body being aware of what is going on. My plan worked quite 
well without a quandary in sight for years, until one night recently. 

About 2:37 a.m., according to the digital clock by my bedside, the urge
to go the bathroom came upon me like a roaring lion. Being careful not 
to arouse my body, I slunk out of bed, wary to keep both eyes closed. 

Everything chugged along quite well and then, all of a sudden there was
a resounding "whack," a flash of blinding light and a twinge that 
danced from my right eye all the way down to the soles of my feet, only 
to return. 

Quickly following this, a loud squawk emitted from my mouth. All this
commotion completely aroused my body to a state of full awakeness. By 
this time, my body, my wife and I were wide-awake. 

As it turned out, someone, and I'm not mentioning any names, left the
bathroom door open. It opens into our bedroom and I had run smack, dab 
into it. The result was a black eye to beat all black eyes. 

There are worse things in this world than running into a door - like
explaining to your devoted public how you got that black eye. 

While my right eye was throbbing, I never gave any thought to how I
would explain it. However, it was a quandary and it was not of my 
doing. 



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