|And The Award Goes To… (standard:humor, 912 words)|
|Author: Godspenman||Added: Jun 04 2017||Views/Reads: 135/43||Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)|
|Imagine getting an award for completing the third grade! I cannot remember any such thing when I was going to grade school. Our great award was leaving school and going home in the afternoon. It just doesn’t get any better than that.|
Rare is the time when I actually am all caught up with my schedule. Whenever I think I am caught up, something happens that takes that and throws it out the window. Such was the case this past week. I was very much happy with the fact that I was on schedule and I had everything in hand. Nothing makes me feel better. Of course, this is mostly delusional, at least for me. If there ever was an award for being delusional, I am quite certain I would be at the top of the list. The amazing thing about being delusional is that you never think you are. As I was wallowing in my delusion and enjoying every moment of it, the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage came and said rather sharply, “Are you ready to go?” At the moment, I had no idea what she was talking about. And so I responded, “Huh?” I'm not sure if that is really a word or not, but it accurately described my delusional moment at that time. I had no idea what she was talking about. “You haven't,” she said, “forgotten what day it is, have you?” I was tempted to say, “Of course not. It's Tuesday.” Fortunately, I did not yield to that temptation and just responded with another, “Huh?” With a disdaining look she said, “You would forget your head if it wasn't attached.” I wouldn't tell her, but I probably would not miss my head if I would forget it. After all, I don't wear a hat. “Today,” she said in a very serene voice, “the two grandchildren are getting awards at school.” I'm not quite sure if I forgot or if I was not listening when the instructions came my way. At this point, I was not going to let anybody know, particularly my wife. “Oh, yes,” I said getting up from my chair, “I'm all ready to go. Let's go.” She gave me one of her classic sarcastic grins and we headed for the door. Our one granddaughter was graduating from the third grade and the other from the fifth grade. Unfortunately, one was at 8:30 in the morning and the other was it 1 o'clock in the afternoon. It would make sense to have them all at once, but what has sense to do in our world today? I did not want to complain, after all, it is our grandchildren, but I think the planning could have been just a little bit better than that. After all, sitting in the school cafeteria listening to the award ceremony is about as exciting as it can get. The chairs that we had to sit on were uncomfortable, which was very fortunate for me because I was not tempted to fall asleep during the ceremony. I believe that was done on purpose. Imagine getting an award for completing the third grade! I cannot remember any such thing when I was going to grade school. Our great award was leaving school and going home in the afternoon. It just doesn't get any better than that. We live in a different world today where everybody gets an award for something or sometimes for nothing. Then I remembered my cell phone in my shirt pocket. It is times like this that God had in mind when he invented this cell phone technology. I pulled out my cell phone and started checking my email. Click here to read the rest of this story (43 more lines)
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