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I Was Just Thinking (standard:humor, 908 words)
Author: GodspenmanAdded: Jul 02 2017Views/Reads: 439/216Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Thinking is not my strong suit by any stretch of the imagination. Every time I start thinking, I either get a headache or get into trouble. I’m not sure which is worse, the headache or the trouble.

Thinking is not my strong suit by any stretch of the imagination. Every
time I start thinking, I either get a headache or get into trouble. I'm 
not sure which is worse, the headache or the trouble. 

In my normal pursuit of life, thinking sits in the backseat. If there is
an emergency, thinking may come forward and help out. However, in the 
meantime, thinking is not something I like to do on a regular basis. 

That is my side. On the other side, the Gracious Mistress of the
Parsonage is always thinking. Most of the time, she is thinking about 
jobs I should be doing. I don't know how she does it, but she can come 
up with a list of “honey-do's” that will occupy all my time. Of course, 
I must confess, while I am doing these “honey-do's” I am thinking, but  
not thoughts I would like to come out into the public arena. 

I do not really have to think that much because my wife thinks for me.
How she does it is beyond me, but she knows what I am thinking three 
days before that thought enters my head. At least, that's what she 
tells me and she would not lie to me. 

I have learned through the years that there are several questions that I
should never ask my wife. One is, “Honey, what are you doing?” 

You would think after decades of interaction with her I would know what
to say and what not to say. Because I don't give much to thinking, I 
usually speak without thinking, which always gets me into trouble. If I 
could think through something, I just might escape the trouble that I 
get into. 

Just the other day I came home from working at the office and my wife
was sitting in the chair and I asked “the” question. “Honey, what are 
you doing?” 

My wife knows how to ask questions and is very skillful at asking the
right question. The other side is that she knows how to answer 
questions to such a degree that gets me into difficulty. How she 
manages this is beyond my wildest imagination. Of course, if I would 
think about it, maybe I could come up with an answer, but who has time 
to think these days? 

Without any delay, she responded to my inquiry by saying, “I was just

As soon as she said that, I knew I was in trouble. Why don't I keep my
questions to myself? Why must I always fall into that trap she lays for 

“I was just thinking,” she said without giving me any opportunity to
respond, “that we ought to go to the mall this afternoon and do a 
little bit of shopping.” 

Her “little bit of shopping” has nothing to do with the word “little,”
but a lot to do with the word, “cash.” She has the idea that if you buy 
something with a credit card, no cash is involved. 

The last place on earth I want to go to is the shopping mall. I must
confess that I have a little bit of a drug problem here. When I go to 
the mall with my wife, I am drug from one store to another store to 
another store until I have completely lost any sense of reality. 

I am not sure if there is a solution to this kind of a drug problem. If
there is, I would like to know about it. 

“Well,” I said as hesitatingly as possible, “we might not have enough
time to go this afternoon to the shopping mall.” 

“I was just thinking,” she responded, “that we could go to the shopping
mall this afternoon and then stop by a restaurant and have supper out 
together. Wouldn't that be wonderful? What do you think?” 

If I had just the energy to think through this kind of thing, I would
have guessed that she had an ulterior motive in going to the shopping 

“If we go out for supper tonight,” she explained, “we will have plenty

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