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Go Ahead, Call Me If You Dare (standard:humor, 903 words)
Author: GodspenmanAdded: Jul 16 2017Views/Reads: 449/259Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
With all the agitation in the world, a person is sometimes tempted to get all caught up with bitterness and anger. I have learned the hard way, that the best way to deal with agitation is to make fun of it so that somebody laughs, particularly me.

I don't think it was in the mind of Dr. Bell when he invented the
telephone for people like me to be harassed by people who are only 
after my money. Don't get me wrong here. The telephone has been a great 
blessing to many people. But lately, the wrong people have my number. 

It finally came to a head this past week. At least as far as I was

The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage and I had a very busy week and by
Thursday we had accomplished a lot, or at least we thought we had. We 
had lunch with a very good friend and enjoyed ourselves tremendously. 

On our way home from lunch I mentioned the fact to my wife that I was
feeling very tired and I probably could do with a Power Nap, as they 
call them today. She just looked at me and said, “Go ahead and get your 
nap in.” 

Being the husband that I am, I always obey my wife. And so, off to the
parsonage I headed to get in a well-deserved, at least I thought it 
was, Power Nap to rejuvenate what little energy I had left. 

Nothing feels better to me than stretching out on my easy chair, closing
my eyes and drifting off into Lala land, of which I am a frequent 

I am not quite sure how long I was sleeping, but suddenly I heard a
weird noise that awakened me. That weird noise was the telephone 
ringing. I never know who's calling and I never know if it might be 
important, so I answered the phone. 

I am so tired of getting telephone calls that just interrupts my day. I
get calls from somebody who has a solution for my student loan and how 
to pay it off. I never went to college and therefore I don't have a 
student loan. At my age, if I had a student loan it would be a tragic 

The call was from some health agency that had a deep concern about my
health. More particularly, they had solutions for pains that I was 

“I understand,” the person on the other end of the telephone said very
businesslike, “that you are having problems with pain in your body.” 

I do not know where he got that understanding or why he would be
interested in any of my pain. 

“No, sir,” I said with a healthy yawn, “there ain't no pain here.” 

“Is there someone in your house,” he went on to say, “that has some back

Without giving me time to respond, he continued, “I believe you qualify
for one of our back braces to help manage your back pain.” 

“No, sir,” I said most pathetically, “nobody here has that kind of

Not hindered in his salesman pitch, he said, “Is there someone in your
home that has an ankle pain? I have a wonderful solution that I would 
like to send you to deal with that pain?” 

I still was a little dizzy because of being awakened from my Power Nap
that I was not quite able to comprehend what he was talking about. He 
just kept on talking. 

Finally, he said, “What kind of pain does anybody in your household have
that we could address today?” 

Obviously, he had solutions for pain, but the problem was I did not have
any pain for him to address. 

I was about to hang up on him when a few gray cells woke up from their
Power Nap and nudged me with a thought. 

“Now that you mentioned it,” I said as seriously as possible, “there is

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