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Looking for Money in All the Wrong Pockets (standard:humor, 899 words)
Author: GodspenmanAdded: Feb 25 2018Views/Reads: 532/318Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
No matter how hard you search for something, if it is not there, you will never find it. But with God it is a different story. When we truly seek him, we always find him.

An incident happened this past week in which I am still scratching my
head. Have you ever known you had something, but for the life of you 
could not find it? I will accede to the fact that occasionally, I do 
have a streak of absent-mindedness running through me. At times, I wish 
it would just walk. 

I was fairly certain I had an extra $20 in one of my pant's pockets. It
was what I affectionately refer to as my "mad Money." My wife would be 
mad if she knew I had it. I do not remember where it came from but my 
real problem was, I could not find those pants. 

Usually, if I find money in my pants pocket there is only one
explanation. I'm wearing somebody's pants, but not mine. The truth is, 
my pants rarely see any extra money. If there is an occasion when I do 
have money in my pocket, my pants get all excited and wrinkly. 

Only this was different. I distinctly remember putting a $20 bill in one
of my pants pockets and thinking what I could do with it. But now, I 
cannot find it. I knew I had an extra $20. I distinctly remember 
putting it somewhere. I've looked everywhere... maybe I should have 
looked somewhere. 

With the aimless look on my face, more aimless than normal, I wandered
the house in search of the missing $20. I tried to act inconspicuous so 
the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage would not discover what I was 

Obviously, no Emmy award will come my way because my acting
inconspicuous was a complete failure. 

"What are you looking for?" My wife queried. 

"Nothing," I stammered. 

"When you find it, let me know. I really don't know what nothing looks

Ha. Ha. Ha. Sometimes she thinks she is a comedian. However, I was not
laughing. If I find that money, the joke will be on her. Then we will 
see who is laughing. 

I had two fears facing me at this point. First, she could have found the
money and was waiting for me to admit that I actually had some extra 
money. This would invite a great deal of grief on top of my balding 

Second, if I told her I was looking for money she would want to know
where I got extra money. If I cannot remember where the money is, how 
in the world am I going to remember where it came from? 

Then, she would want to know how much more money I had misplaced
somewhere in the house. Actually, I want to know that myself. 

Such interrogation from her borders on waterboarding. If the FBI wants
to learn a thing or two about torturing people, they could learn an 
awful lot from her. She can torture a person and not lay a glove on 
them. Of course it is not her glove I am worried about, it is her evil 
eye that goes through a person, me in particular, like a laser beam. 

My wife always knows when I'm lying. My lips are moving. 

Coming back to the missing $20. I could offer to split it with her if
she would help me find it, which would leave me with $10. $10 in the 
hand is worth more than $20 that I do not know where it is. 

Then, I would have to explain what I needed $10 for at the time.
Christmas is over and her birthday and our anniversary are a long way 
off, so I cannot tell her I want to buy her a present. 

I did have plans for that $20. Now, I cannot even remember what those
plans were. Maybe, if I knew what I planned to do with the $20 I might 
remember what I did with the $20. 

While I was musing on this situation, I discovered a correlation between
money and love. Without love, you end up with a broken heart. Without 

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