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How to Trick Summer into Coming Early (standard:humor, 905 words)
Author: GodspenmanAdded: Apr 22 2018Views/Reads: 121/47Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Even though I am very impatient about many things, like Mr. Summer, I am so thankful that God is patient toward me in all things.
 



Just when you think summer has come, winter giggles and sticks her icy
nose into my life. 

Not being much of a fan of winter I can stand it for so long, but not as
long as it's been this year. Either I'm getting old and cannot remember 
or this has been a very long winter. Shivering is not my favorite 
activity, although it's the only activity I get to do lately. 

The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage and I were talking; rather she
was talking and I was listening. That is what makes us a great pair. 
She talks, I listen and our world goes rolling on. 

What she was talking about was summer. “When,” she asked, “will summer
really get here?” 

Of course, we can look at the calendar and pick out a date when summer
is going to get here, but it is like playing the lottery, which I 
believe is rigged. I think picking the date of summer is rigged as 
well. I like to know who has rigged it because I would like to give 
them a piece of my wife's mind. 

We talked a little bit about summer coming, when it is going to come and
what we are going to do when summer actually gets here. She had a long 
list of activities she was anxious to jump into. Unfortunately for me, 
most of those activities were visiting thrift stores. 

I often wonder why they are called “thrift” stores. When my wife goes,
thriftiness goes out the window. She can bargain Scrooge out of his 
last dollar. 

I know this and she was talking about the upcoming summer that her eyes
were twinkling which meant only one thing. “Thrift stores, here I 
come.” 

Unfortunately, we did not solve the problem concerning the weather. If
you think about it, the weatherman who is paid to predict the weather 
cannot predict the weather accurately. Oh, for a job like that. 

Soon the wife had to get up and do something in her craft room. I do not
know what is in that craft room. I do not go in for fear of my life. 
She is very crafty and I am not going to second-guess anything in that 
room. 

When she left I got to thinking about the upcoming summer. What in the
world can we do to hurry summer along? 

If it were up to me, winter would only be one month long and the rest of
the time it would be summer. That is how I would parse things out. As 
you know, Mrs. Winter has a domineering spirit and wants to be here all 
the time, even when she is not welcome. 

As I was thinking about this, I thought there must be some way we can
trick Mr. Summer into coming earlier. After all, everybody can be 
tricked into something, whether they like it or not. I know I've been 
tricked into many things and it's hard to untrick yourself when you get 
tricked by someone like my wife. 

Surely there something we can do to scam summer into coming a little
earlier. I am sure Mr. Summer has its weaknesses like the rest of us. 
Our problem is to try to find that weakness. Once you find the 
weakness, then you are in control. 

I thought of a few things but nothing seemed to stick in my mind. I am
not used to thinking on my own and I was a little fearful of pulling in 
the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage to this “Think Tank” on an early 
summer. 

Then a thought hit me. When I got up off the ground, for I am not
accustomed for a thought to hit me, I sat back in my chair and smiled 
very broadly. I think I know what we can do. I believe I know how to 
trick good old Mr. Summer. 

Everybody is really invested in themselves to some degree. The same can
be said for Mr. Summer. Why not convince him that he is not needed 
anymore in our life? 


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