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Home Has Never Been Sweeter (standard:humor, 909 words)
Author: GodspenmanAdded: Oct 07 2018Views/Reads: 589/275Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
I really will not get home until I go to the Father's House, where He has a place prepared especially for me.

If the good Lord ever intended me to travel as much as I have been
traveling, I'm sure He would have given me wings. I like the idea of 
traveling; it is the actual traveling that gets me. The only good thing 
about traveling is that home looks so good from so far away. 

Several years ago, I received an invitation to speak at a conference. It
sounded like a great idea at the time. I have been there before and 
have had a wonderful time. The thing about this trip was it was the 
same week my son and daughter-in-law were expecting their fifth baby, 
which would have been our ninth grandchild. Whether it is the first or 
the ninth grandchild makes no difference whatsoever to those creatures 
called grandmothers. 

When the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage learned of my plans and that
the conference I would be speaking at was in close proximity to the 
ninth grandchild, which was the end of the story. Plans for "our" 
travel began. According to her, I could drop her off at my son's house 
and continue to my conference. 

My wife loves it when her plan comes together. 

I am not exactly sure how you plan the birth date of a child, but my
wife was keeping close contact to make sure it would happen when she 
wanted it to happen. Grandmothers are like that. According to her, the 
baby was to be born at such a time that she could go and spend the 
entire week with the new baby. I do not know how grandmothers do it, 
but they have a secret power unbeknownst to us on the male side of the 

As the time approached for our departure and the imminent birth, my wife
became a little nervous. 

"What if we get there and the baby isn't born yet?" 

As if, I knew the answer to that question. Why is it wives have the
innate ability to ask questions that no husband in his right mind or in 
any mind, for that matter, could answer? 

"I will not leave their home if the baby isn't born yet." 

Although it sounded like a threat, it was a plan I could work with, but
I kept that information to myself. 

The day before we were scheduled to leave, the blessed event happened.
My wife's ninth grandchild entered this world and that made everything 
all right. It was my ninth grandchild too, but nobody paid me any mind. 
If the truth were known, I was the one paying. I paid for the whole 

It turned out to be a little girl, which was a surprise to everyone.
Therefore, Grandmother had to do some last-minute shopping. I paid for 
that too; in more ways than I can count here. 

The two days driving to the scene of the blessed event were filled with
nonstop chatter about the new granddaughter. I nodded my head a lot and 
judiciously filtered in an occasion ďaha." I do not know who this new 
granddaughter thinks she is but I do know who the grandmother thinks 
the granddaughter is. Maybe that is all that really matters. 

Although we never met this new addition to the family, my wife seemed to
know everything about her. I have often wondered how mothers and 
grandmothers know so much about their offspring. I often get their 
names mixed up. 

I dropped the newly crowned grandmother at my son's house and proceeded
to my conference. I like speaking at conferences, primarily because 
people pay to hear me talk, and they actually want to hear what I have 
to say. 

My cell phone was all a flutter because almost every hour I got an
update on what this new grandchild was all about. According to the 
reports I received, this was the most beautiful, the most wonderful, 
the most extraordinary grandchild ever born on planet earth. 

I agreed, because, well, look at her grandfather. 

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