|Ha, Ha, I Knew I Was Right! (standard:humor, 902 words)|
|Author: Godspenman||Added: Dec 01 2018||Views/Reads: 206/78||Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)|
|God has for us victory that supersedes any victory we could have in this world. His victory is always through the Lord Jesus Christ.|
Did you ever experience a time when you were right and had the evidence to prove you were right? I know that for me, it does not happen very often. In fact, I cannot think of a time that it really did happen to me. Well, until recently. I want to remember this incident as long as I live. The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage was preparing for our Thanksgiving family get-together. It takes her weeks to get everything prepared; she is so meticulous and will not allow anything to go wrong from her point of view. Everything has to be done just so. Experience has taught me during this time of the year to stay out of the kitchen! That is why I am still living to this very day. However, it does have its advantages. I can relax in my “man cave” and stay out of her way. I know that if I ever get in her way she always, without exception, has a job for me to do. I like working, but not under those circumstances. If she cannot see me, she cannot give me work to do. One thing she is most focused on are vegetables. According to her, there has to be a balance of vegetables and the greener the better. I, on the other side of the “I Do” aisle, have very little patience for vegetables. I was losing the battle for this vegetables war until recently. I was haphazardly watching the news one night when they came out with a very scary bulletin. It seems that a certain vegetable (I will not name it because I am not a vegetable person and a vegetable to me is a vegetable) was infected and giving people E. coli. When I first heard that news, I thought I heard it wrong. After all, I have been told all my life that vegetables are good for you and will not harm you. A healthy diet includes lots of veggies. Then they come along with this warning that you should not buy this certain vegetable. “Hey, my dear,” I cheerfully said, “come and look at this news report.” I love modern technology because by the time she got into the room the television report was over. Very nonchalantly, I pressed the rewind button and was able to replay that news report about a certain vegetable. I was as quiet as long as I possibly could be, and then I blurted out, “See, I told you, vegetables are not all good.” She gave me one of “those looks” and walked back into the kitchen. I grew up in a farm community in Pennsylvania and one of the sayings my grandfather had was, “When you have a cow you need to milk it.” And I was about to milk this for everything I could. I grabbed my coffee cup and went out in the kitchen to get another fresh cup of coffee and when I was there, I happened to mention, “I always knew vegetables could be dangerous.” She looked at me and then said, “That is only one incident and I'm not sure it's even true.” “If it's on TV it has to be true,” I spurted very sarcastically. Then I had an idea burning in my head that I had been wanting to share with her for a long time but never had an opportunity. She is always getting on my case about my apple fritters, and how harmful they were to me. When saying that she was always staring at my fully developed stomach. “There has never been,” I began as seriously as possible, “any news report that apple fritters are harmful to your health. Certainly, not like this vegetable on the news today.” She looked at me and smiled, but as I walked away, I could see out of Click here to read the rest of this story (30 more lines)
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