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The Question of the Disappearing Ice Cream (standard:humor, 903 words)
Author: GodspenmanAdded: Mar 16 2019Views/Reads: 55/23Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
At times, the question is not meant to elicit an answer but to get somebody to think about something.
 



A mystery has developed within the halls of our once peaceful domicile.
At first, I did not think too seriously about it. Some things, if left 
alone usually take care of themselves. Of course, there always are 
other things, like my socks, that never take care of themselves no 
matter how hard I wish. 

A hint of the mystery came my way on Wednesday when the Gracious
Mistress of the Parsonage went to the freezer for a box of ice cream. 
According to her, this was supposed to be for our dessert after supper. 
But, if I have all the facts correct, she went to the freezer and did 
not find the anticipated box of ice cream. 

I was preoccupied with the evening news on television when my wife came
and stood in the archway with both hands on her hips, staring at me 
with one of those looks and said, "Where did the ice cream go?" 

Well, as questions go, this one was a question, all right. My first
response was to say, "Am I my ice cream's keeper?" But I knew that 
would not scoop any goodwill from her. There is a time to laugh and 
then there is the time to answer your wife's question. My problem is I 
usually confuse these two times. 

However, from the tone of her voice I got the suspicion that this was
not a rhetorical question. Somehow, I felt she was looking for an 
answer and in looking for the answer was looking straight at me. At the 
time I was looking rather guilty. 

I resent this sort of thing. Whenever something adverse happens in our
house the first thing my wife does is to question me about the 
incident. And I do remember that this sort of thing happened even when 
the children were still living under our roof. The insinuation that I 
was at the bottom of some sort of mischief is quite offensive to Yours 
Truly. I usually am at the bottom of something or other, but offensive, 
nevertheless, to be thought of in this light especially from my wife. 

The grilling continued. 

"Do you know anything about the missing ice cream?" She queried as
though she knew the answer. 

My philosophy is, if you know the answer why bother with the question.
The way she posed her question suggested to me that she already knew 
the answer. In fact, the way she was looking at me suggested very 
strongly that she was looking at the answer. 

The only thing I could do was retaliate with a dumb look. When it comes
to dumb looks, I got her beat every time. And why not? I've had more 
practice. 

I did not quite know how to answer these inquiries. If I answered "yes,"
I was in for some very serious interrogation. If, on the other hand, I 
answered "no," I was in for some very dirty looks. I'm not sure which 
is worse, "interrogation" or "dirty looks." Both are on about the same 
level of pain for the recipient. 

While we are on the subject, I have some questions of my own. What I
want to know is, does she think I'm responsible for the missing ice 
cream or, does she think I know what happened to the missing ice cream? 
How much does she know about the incident and when did she know it? 

It was around this time that she brought some evidence to bear upon the
incident. 

"I bought a box of ice cream on Monday and I have the receipt here to
prove that I did. I did not have any ice cream and it is only 
Wednesday, but the ice cream is missing." 

As devastating as that evidence was she still had more incriminating
corroboration in her accusatory arsenal. 

"Also, I've been hearing some suspicious activity in the middle of the
night in the general area of the refrigerator. Do you have any idea 
what that noise might be?" 

Another question! Who does she think she is? The FBI? [Female Bullying


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