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Where Does Santa Get His Naughty or Nice List? (standard:humor, 912 words)
Author: GodspenmanAdded: Dec 15 2019Views/Reads: 194/58Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
The important thing is not if I’m naughty or nice or if I’m on Santa’s list. The important thing is to surround myself with “good men.” The companions I keep are the ones that will help me walk in the path of righteousness.

This week the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage approached me with a
serious question. 

As far as I am concerned, life is full of questions, but coming from
her, I need to be very careful. I have found out that a question with 
her is not merely a question. It can be a whole lot more than that with 
multiple layers. I am still trying to figure out the dimensions of her 

If I do not understand her question, my answer is going to get me into
trouble. Believe me; I know what trouble is all about. 

I have several cats in the neighborhood that I feed. I am not sure where
they come from, but they show up at the back porch for the free treats 
I put out for them. This has also attracted possums, raccoons and foxes 
that come for the treats I have there for them. 

Most of them are somewhat antsy and try to stay out of trouble as much
as possible. I can certainly relate to that. 

Last week my wife purchased a brand-new rug for the back porch. It was
red and looked very nice. Showing it to me, she said, "Make sure you 
don't spill anything on this new rug." 

I must not have been the only one who heard that. Ever since then, none
of my "critters" coming to my back porch has walked on that rug. They 
all walk around it and stare at it as though it is something very 

I understood their dilemma since I have faced that dilemma many times

However, the question posed to me by the Gracious Mistress of the
Parsonage was, “Are you on Santa's naughty or nice list this year?” 

Hearing that question caused me some trepidation. If anybody knows the
difference between naughty and nice, it has to be my wife. I assume 
that Good Old Santa gets advice on this from my wife. If I am on his 
naughty list, then I know who put me there. 

I am not sure I can remember any time that I was on his nice list. There
must be a story behind that, I am sure. 

Precisely, what does it mean to be naughty from Santa's point of view? 

For a moment, the temptation danced in my mind to ask my wife about
this, but I was sure if I did, she would tell me and tell me more than 
I actually wanted to know. 

I tried reflecting over the year to see if there was any indication that
I crossed the line somewhere into the naughty area. I could not think 
of any, but I am sure I was overlooking something. 

The thing I try to figure out is, how do I get on his nice list? Is
there something I can do to get off the naughty list? I am open to all 
kinds of suggestions here. 

It is not that I am worried about being on Santa's naughty list. I can
handle that. I simply do not want to be on my wife's naughty list. That 
certainly is my goal in life. I will do anything within reason (if I 
had any reason) to not only get on her nice list but to stay there. 

I must confess there are times when I lean toward the naughty. I hope
Santa never sees me in that stage of my life. More importantly, I hope 
my wife never sees me at that stage. Naughty, for me, is doing 
something behind my wife's back. For instance: eating an Apple Fritter 
is best done behind my wife's back. If she sees me eating an Apple 
Fritter, she will remind me that it is not on my diet. 

When she says, "my diet," she is referring to her diet imposed upon me.
If you look at my diet, it includes Apple Fritters and a whole lot more 
not on hers. 

Personally, I do not consider it naughty to eat according to my diet. I
do not know of anything nicer than sitting down with a nice hot cup of 

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