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Oh, Those Alluring Lizardly Eyes (standard:humor, 906 words)
Author: GodspenmanAdded: Jan 04 2020Views/Reads: 94/38Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
The only thing we need to fear is God and that is a reverential fear. The fear of God dissolves every other fear.
 



After months of planning and rearranging our schedule, the Gracious
Mistress of the Parsonage finally organized a little vacation time for 
Christmas. 

It takes an awful lot of work for her and, I let her work as hard as she
wants to work. That's the kinda husband I am. 

She scheduled us to stay for several days in St. Augustine. We always
enjoy our stay there and look forward to going there. The people who 
own the motel where we stay are good friends of ours. It is great to 
get together with friends that you only see once a year. 

Being exhausted from a whole year's work, my wife and I looked forward
to this time of doing nothing. I did not realize how much work was 
involved in doing nothing. 

We signed in and I went to the room, sat down and just looked around to
see where we would be staying for a few days. I looked over to the bed 
and on the pillow, there was something there. I did not quite know what 
it was and then I realized it was a lizard. 

I love animals of all kinds. I have a hard time killing a fly, so when I
saw this lizard, I was delighted. When my delight softened a little, I 
began to think that my wife does not appreciate the animal world as 
much as I do. This lizard would not do for her. 

Looking at the lizard, I said, "Mr. Lizard, I don't think you should be
here. It's not a good idea.” 

He turned his head, looked at me with his nose up in the air, his big
lizardly eyes blinked several times, and then looked away with his nose 
still up in the air. 

“You can ignore me if you want to, but I'm just warning you that the
worst part of your day has not begun.” 

Again, he looked my way with his nose still up in the air, blinking his
eyes most arrogantly and then looked away with another arrogant twist 
of his head. Then he took four steps away from me, his nose still up in 
the air. 

“Don't forget,” I explained to the lizard, “I warned you what was
coming.” 

I laughed because I was seeing a stage set for some exciting moments. I
could not wait for the door to open and the Gracious Mistress of the 
Parsonage walk in and see my little friend the lizard. I only wish I 
had a bag of popcorn. 

The wait was not long and I soon heard the doorknob twist, the door
opened and in walked the lady of the hour. Oh, where is my popcorn? 

I saw the lizard glance at her, then look back at me, again his nose was
in the air and he was blinking arrogantly and then turned and looked 
the other way. He evidently did not know what he was in for. 

Then it happened. My wife looked at the pillow on the bed and said,
“What's that?” 

Before she got it out, she realized it was a lizard. Few things in life
that frighten my wife, but this lizard did, much to my enjoyment. 

When she saw the lizard, she screamed and the lizard jumped straight up
in the air. When it came down and landed on the pillow, it glanced at 
me with eyes that looked a little bit frightened. Then he jumped off 
the pillow and went underneath the bed. 

That was not enough for my wife. She ran somewhere, got a broom, came
back. I do not believe this lizard has ever seen any woman with a broom 
in her hand coming at him. At least, not someone like my wife. 

She came in, moved the bed and there the lizard was. She started
swinging and as soon as she started swinging, the lizard started 
jumping. Oh, where is that popcorn? 



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