In My Humble Opinion (standard:humor, 906 words)
Author: Godspenman	Added: Mar 01 2020	Views/Reads: 1110/835	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
What I have learned is that humble people rarely give their opinion.

It was a busy week last week. I was chasing my tail so much, I thought I
would actually catch it. What I would do after I caught it is beyond my 
imagination. 

However, I was quite busy, and then the mail came. 

Whenever the mail comes, I'm always expecting “the check.” Rarely do I
get it, but my expectation is that I will get a $10,000 check. I don't 
know from whom. 

“What are you going to the mailbox for?” The Gracious Mistress of the
Parsonage would ask. “Are you looking for your $10,000 check?” 

One of these days, I am going to get a $10,000 check and rub it in her
face before I take it to the bank. 

This time the mail brought me a package from one of my relatives. It
turned out to be old pictures of my family from decades ago. Most of 
them were black-and-white, so you can imagine how old they were. 

As I was going through these photographs, I could hardly recognize most
of them. According to the letter in the package, they were my 
relatives. Most had been dead for 40 to 50 years. I cannot remember 
what I had for breakfast this morning, let alone a relative 50 years 
ago. 

Then I hit that “aha” moment. There was a picture of a relative I had
long ago forgotten about. Why I forgot about him, I will never know. He 
actually died almost 50 years ago. 

When I saw that picture, I had to call my wife over to show her. 

“This is a picture of Uncle Frank.” I leaned back and smiled, thinking
of him and all the antics associated with him. 

“Have I ever met your Uncle Frank?” 

I looked at my wife, smiled, and said, "No, my dear, you would have
remembered him if you did." 

The memories of good old Uncle Frank began marinating in my head, and
stories began developing. If anybody could screw up a situation, it was 
good old Uncle Frank. 

He was a good person in many regards; very congenial and generous and
happy all the time. However, his timing was not really that good, and 
what he said never aligned with what was happening at the time. 

His wife, Aunt Betty, always got frustrated at her husband when he was
interrupting her conversations. He did that quite often, much to her 
chagrin. And believe me, her “cha” didn't grin that much. 

In the middle of a conversation, Uncle Frank would break in and say, “In
my humble opinion...” Then he would take the conversation off in the 
direction nobody could have ever expected. He had the knack of messing 
up conversations to the point that nobody knew what anybody was talking 
about. 

If, for example, somebody was talking about politics, Uncle Frank would
say, "In my humble opinion, the Red Sox are going to win the World 
Series..." And for the next five or six minutes, he would be talking 
about baseball, which had nothing whatsoever to do with the 
conversation he interrupted. 

By the time he was done, nobody could remember what in the world they
were talking about before. 

I never really knew if Uncle Frank did that on purpose or if it just
came naturally to him. I would have liked to have gotten to know him a 
little better because I am suspicious that he did it most of the time 
on purpose. 

One time, I wish that I could have been there then, it all came to a
head. 



Click here to read the rest of this story (36 more lines)