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What’s Time Got to Do with It? (standard:humor, 901 words)
Author: GodspenmanAdded: Apr 19 2020Views/Reads: 78/36Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
I think Solomon had something here. There is a time for everything and if we do not give everything time, there is going to be a lot of confusion in our life.

After so many weeks, I haven't been able to keep track of them, one day
seems just like the other day. Today reminds me of yesterday, and 
yesterday may be the same as tomorrow. I know I am used to being 
confused, but I have exceeded my limit on this time aspect. 

The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage and I have been spending all of
our time together. We do not go anywhere except sometimes I slip over 
to the office and come back. Besides that, we are in each other's 
company, 24/7. Or is it 7/24? I'm not sure anymore. 

For the most part, it has been a wonderful vacation from the rest of the
world. I assure you, we surely needed this vacation. Sometimes the 
world can get rather sticky, if you know what I mean? 

After being married for so many years (I cannot really remember how many
it has been) I have begun to understand a little more about the other 
resident in our parsonage. 

Just when you think you know everything, then you discover something you
did not know before. 

I love discovering new things about everything. I have discovered that
the more you learn about your spouse, the more amicable the 
relationship is. I think it has something to do with expectations. 

I knew this about my wife, but I was reminded of this in the last week
or so. She is addicted to a time schedule. 

That is not in itself a bad thing. After all, life is based upon some
kind of a time schedule. The problem is, I do not have a time schedule, 
particularly during the days like we are living now. I sorta go with 
the flow. 

In our house, breakfast, lunch, and dinner are all served on a regular
schedule. Before this vacation from society, we grabbed lunch whenever 
we could fit it into our schedule. Lunch was not the schedule but what 
we were doing at the time. It is quite different today. 

Now, the schedule is built around our eating. Since our seclusion, I
have eaten breakfast, lunch, and dinner on a very regular basis. 

The problem is, it is going to cost me quite a bit. After all of these
social shenanigans are over, I am going to have to go and buy new 
shirts and pants because the ones I have now will not fit. 

I am thinking of taking it out of my wife's allowance; after all, she is
responsible for the weight gain during these weeks at home. If it was 
not for her, and if she was not such a marvelous cook, I would not gain 
any weight whatsoever. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it. 

During these days of social hibernation, time has lost its real
significance. It used to be I had a schedule, and I worked to keep that 
schedule to the very minute. Now, I have no schedule, and I have been 
keeping it quite strictly. 

Just the other day my wife looked at me and said, “It's almost
lunchtime. Don't you think you should get dressed and take off those 

My answer was simply, “Why?” 

My morning schedule is a complete mirror of my afternoon schedule, which
is also a mirror of my evening schedule. I never know if it is morning, 
afternoon, or evening. According to my wife, what you are wearing 
determines the schedule. And believe me, she is always on schedule. 

Nobody comes to the house anymore, not even the Jehovah's Witnesses. For
whom do I have to dress up? 

Very systematically, and you will not believe this, she meticulously
sets the alarm clock so she can get up in the morning at the same time. 
I only said this once; I learned my lesson, “Why are you setting the 
alarm clock?” 

With one of her stern looks, she said, “Because, somebody has to get up

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