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| Who Doesn’t Like A Girl Scout Cookie? (standard:humor, 904 words) | |||
| Author: Godspenman | Added: May 09 2021 | Views/Reads: 1337/901 | Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes) |
| As much as I delight in these cookies, my greater delight is in the Lord. As I delight in the Lord, I enjoy all the delicacies of that relationship. | |||
This week the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage made a little slip. To her, it was a little slip, but to me, it was a big mistake. It is not always that she makes mistakes that I can profit on. I don't make this public, especially within her earshot, but there are times that she makes a mistake, and I'm always on the lookout for those times. When it comes to me, I'm always making mistakes. I'm not sure that I can make a little slip because mine are much bigger. And the problem with this is, the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage always catches them, and sometimes, I don't know how she does it, she catches them before I actually do them. She calls it "woman's intuition," but I call it "man's trouble." This past week, for instance, I had an appointment with my eye doctor. I was to pick up my new glasses, and I was anxious about that. I told my wife that the doctor's appointment was on Wednesday. She countered that and said, "No, I believe it's on Thursday." "It's my appointment," I said, both hands on my hips, "and I'll go when I want to." She looked at me, snickered, and then went back to what she was doing. I think I heard her mumbling something like, "He's 13 again." I got to the eye doctor's office, walked in as I was putting on my mask (I'm not too fond of these masks), walked up to the counter, and signed in. Then I went to sit and wait to be called. In a few minutes, a nurse came up to me and said, "Mr. Snyder, what are you doing here today?" “I'm here to pick up my glasses.” “I'm sorry, your appointment isn't until tomorrow.” I looked at her with one of my stunned looks and then said, "Could I camp here until tomorrow?" I had to go home and tell my wife that I was wrong, and she was right. If I had a nickel for every time I admitted that I was wrong, I would be a very wealthy person. But this week, my wife made her mistake, and I was able to cash in on it. She returned home from shopping at Publix, and I think without even thinking, she said as she was coming into the kitchen, "The Girl Scouts are selling cookies at Publix today." There are many things she says that I cannot hear. I'm not sure if it's my ears or what. For some reason, I picked up on this phrase about the Girl Scout cookies. I tried to remain quiet and calm. I knew if I stirred up any excitement, she would catch on to what she said to me. According to her, I am very limited as to the cookies I'm allowed to eat. Her preference would be that I eat no cookies while I've got breath in my nostrils. I remember when she told me, “You cannot eat no cookies!” I smiled because she did not know what she said. A double negative equals a positive. Most people don't get that. The next step was to figure out how to leave the house and go to Publix without somebody in the house finding out. I did not know how I would do this. I thought about it and tried to come up with the perfect plan. Then, an opportunity opened up that I could never have anticipated. “I forgot something at Publix,” my wife said, “would you have time to Click here to read the rest of this story (38 more lines)
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Godspenman has 734 active stories on this site. Profile for Godspenman, incl. all stories Email: jamessnyder2@att.net |