What’s so Cool about a Cucumber? (standard:humor, 901 words)
Author: Godspenman	Added: Feb 20 2022	Views/Reads: 669/425	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
I guess it’s nice to know where you are in life And that you have a partner in life.

When it comes to vegetables, I am no connoisseur at all. The only
vegetable I really like is carrot cake. According to The Gracious 
Mistress of the Parsonage, that is not a vegetable. 

We often discuss vegetables, and she has brought to me a lot of proof
that carrot cake is not a vegetable. 

"Why then," I argue, "do they use the word carrot when they talk about
this particular cake." 

She will then stare at me, one of her vicious stares by which I get the
message. 

Then we argued that an apple fritter is not a fruit. 

She wins in both of these arguments, but I still have yet to give in to
her argument. Sometimes, as a famous psychologist says, it's better to 
be happy than to be right. I understand completely what he's talking 
about. 

Then recently, I heard my wife say that something was "as cool as a
cucumber." 

I've heard that phrase so many times and still do not quite understand
what it really means. I know that a cucumber is a vegetable, but I'm 
not really cool about vegetables. 

We were driving somewhere, she was in the driver's seat, and I'm not
quite sure what we passed, but she said to me, "Look at that. That's as 
cool as a cucumber if you ask me." 

I wish I could remember what it was, but I was very confused when she
made that comment. Up to this point, I had never heard her mention that 
phrase before. I've heard a lot of people say it, and I just shrug it 
off, but now you have The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage using that 
phrase which was rather stunning to me 

At the time, I looked at her and said, "What's so cool about a
cucumber?" 

As she was driving, she laughed and said to me, "Oh, you know what I
mean." 

For a veteran husband such as I, to know what his wife means when she
says anything is beyond the realm of reality. I like to live in 
reality, but oftentimes, I don't. 

I think during my life I have eaten a cucumber. It's not that I don't
like a cucumber; I would rather have something else like a vegetable of 
my own choosing, a carrot cake, for instance. 

I'm not sure what cucumbers are, and I don't want to ask my wife because
then she will tell me and at the next lunch or dinner, there will be 
several cucumbers on my plate. So I don't want that to happen. 

I know what being cool is all about; I just don't know how a cucumber
can be cool about anything. 

If a cucumber is the standard of coolness, I will never be cool. 

I could come up with different slogans, like, "As cool as an apple
fritter." 

If I understand the word cool, nothing is more cool than a fresh apple
fritter. If you've ever had an apple fritter, you know exactly what I'm 
talking about. To me, being cool has nothing whatsoever to do with 
vegetables. 

Of course, if you're a vegetarian, you will disagree with me all the
way. I'm not a vegetarian; I'm more of a fruitarian. In my mind 
vegetables aren't cool, but some fruit is rather cool to me. 

I know my definition of fruit is not the same as my wife's definition.
As long as we have been married, over 50 years, this is the only 
argument we have yet to settle. So I let her think she's right along 


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