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The History Of Language (standard:humor, 354 words)
Author: denis holzhauserAdded: Nov 26 2001Views/Reads: 2593/1Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Only the ravings of a very sick mind

It is not commonly known,even by renown scholars,that the beginning of
all languages was formulated,exclusively,by males.Back before heat,fire 
and rock and roll,when days were unsafe and nights were cold,man had 
very few forms of entertainment to occupy his time and 
intelligence,after the sun went down. 

While masturbation had been around for quite some time,it was only
marginally popular,due mainly,I surmise,to the fact that prehistoric 
males had the horniest palms imaginable,no pun intended. 

What was left,to get through the long cold nights,were stories.
Now,since their language consisted of no more than thirty four words, 
(it has been established by pornographic scholars that most of todays 
vulgarities were originated at that time and still remain in our 
current usage)referred to as "graffito". 

The stories were told with grunts,groans,body movements and vulgarities
then popular.It was customary for the wooly biped telling the story to 
stand,half erect,before his listeners...this is why we still call them 
stand up comics. 

The women of the clan stood a little distance off from the males,in
their own group,hence today we still refer to them as groupies.These 
females were not allowed close enough to hear,unless they provided 
sex.Again,I must inform you that this custom,also,contributed to our 
own language,creating the phrase,"she's a hot number",referring to her 
body heat. 

The story tellers,using their limited vocabulary,body language and
devises still popular with current comics,such as farts,entertained 
until they ran out of material,than retired.If one insisted on 
overstaying his welcome and material,it was customary for the audience 
to stone him,somtimes to death,hence the phrase has been misused to 
discribe a comic's routine,from "they killed him.",to "he killed them." 
That never,as far as scholars know today,ever happened. 

After some time,a part of the clan,called the "nerds",began to,using
their totem like languages,record some routines on the walls.This 
custom still remains,in popular cultures,today in 'Men's Rooms'.In fact 
a noted historian, at one of those schools that never wins a football 
game,referred to it as "graffito",a lot he knows about history. 

I could go on and on about the proper and preferred usuages of words and
language but I have to go pee and,perhaps catch up a little on my 


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