The Scepter (standard:humor, 2275 words)
Author: FFCScripter	Added: Sep 27 2000	Views/Reads: 4118/2150	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
This is a short play, written entirely in rhyme, that takes the reader to the ancient Greek times, during the Olympic Games, where only men can compete, until.......

Click here to read the first 75 lines of the story

she’ll be found and beaten quite shortly. Ah, yes.  She is spotted.  By 
Obesus, the portly. 

HERA:		Hold now, my dearest.  What say you we bet? I say that my woman
will win.  Well, my pet? All of your brutes against one feeble girl. 
You’re sure of a win, why not give it a whirl? 

ZEUS:		All of my men versus that little chick? It’s too easy, I say. 
Tell me, where is the trick? 

HERA:		No trick, my dear love.  Simply say you’ll play fair. If you
don’t I’ll be led to believe that you’re scared. 

ZEUS:		I frightened? Don’t be so dumb my dear wife. I’ve never been
scared.  Not once in my life. But what will be given for when I 
prevail? I’ve the best gift already.  I am already male. 

HERA:		You are quite the hunk, and you’ve got quite a lot. Not to
mention your lust for the young and the hot. Perhaps if I promise to 
let you run wild And to do as you’ve wanted without being riled. I will 
allow you one month of free reign Before I demand to return here again. 
But if it should happen that I should be victor I ask that you give me 
your powerful scepter. 

ZEUS:		You mean if I win I may do as I please? Darling Hera, you know I
like not to be teased. 

HERA:		Fret not, for all that I’ve said I’ll respect. You win, you get
lust.  I win, I get scept’. 

ZEUS:(aside)	 I can hardly believe that this really is true. When I win
I may finally do what I do Without catching hell from my cranky old 
lady. For once in her life I would needn’t be shady. But if somehow my 
boys were to lose to that broad, Then Hera would rule with the scepter, 
the rod. The odds are to great in my favor to quake. All right Hera, as 
to your bet; well, I take. 

HERA:		Then let me disguise my companion in hair. After all, I am Hera,
that seems only fair. (aside) The mortal creature is such a delight. 
Willing to trust and willing to fight. Simple deception, simple spoils. 
They win, they pray, and I recoil, As the only victor in this war. I’m 
a powerful queen, yet I want more. Woman; the form of a man you must 
take, And remain, for the scepter of power’s at stake. Defeat the man, 
believe in me. I will take power, and I will be free. 

WOMAN:		Dear gods in heaven, have pity on me. I remove now my
clothes...What’s this that I see? I am no longer smooth but am shaggy 
and strong. I am covered in hair, some is short, some is long. Dearest 
Hera, I know that you see in me hope. For you’ve given me guise. I will 
need extra soap. 

CHORUS:		To your chambers, ye spectators, judges and athletes. Rise
early to get ye the bestest of seats. For later to bed means the later 
to rise And your seats will be then higher up in the skies. 

The next day, at the arena, just before the chariot and horse races. 

MAN:		Friends, countrymen, lend me your ears. I bring you the athletes
you all have revered. From Sparta comes Flexis, a man of all brawn. 
They say from the biceps of Zeus he was spawned. He is the victor, 
already declared His rivals have seemingly all been impaired. Athens 
had sent us a man of great learning. But their man was struck by a 
urinal burning. The northern most regions of Greece were to come But 
they have not arrived.  They are known to be dumb. Straight south they 
were told, to Olympus to go. But they went the wrong way.  They are all 
rather slow. The western most plains sent a man of no strength, For 
long is the road that he traveled at length. 

SPECTATOR2: 	Give us a show, we’ve all come a long way. We were promised
some action for several more days. 

MAN:		Allow me to finish, my fellow. I beg you. The eastern most Greeks
sent a man to us, too. 

SPECTATOR3:	Then give us this man to compete against Flexis. If you
don’t, then I warn you, it could perhaps vex us. A mob is the thing you 
don’t want us to be. Thousands of butt-naked men after thee. I fear for 
your life that if no show is staged These uneasy nudes will fly into a 
rage. Begin with the action. I tell you, you must! If not then you’ll 
likely be trampled to dust. 

MAN:		I see that you want to see blood and see gore, Between Flexis the
Strong and the Greek from the shore But that just is the problem I’m 
trying to tell. He took one look at Flexis and instantly fell. We’ve 
tried all night long but he just will not wake. He’s been whipped, 
beaten, stabbed, and thrown into a lake. Still he refuses to fight for 
you all. Each time he sees Flexis he stumbles and falls. The only 
solution you’re likely to hear Is a fight between Flexis and some 
volunteer. 

CROWD mumbles. 

WOMAN:		I’ll fight him if that’s what the people all want. Next to him,
though, I pale and appear but a runt. But still I assure you beneath 
all the hair Is a tiger just waiting to snap and to tear Into any of 
Flexis  my teeth can get hold of. Good luck be with Flexis, I’m blessed 
from above. 

CROWD:		You’ll be slaughtered and mangled and torn into shreds, But
that’s all right with us, we’re not right in the head. 

MAN:		Sir, what you’re doing is ever so brave, My only regret is your
life I can’t save. Flexis the Strong, he has never been beaten. He’s 
barely a human, he’s more of a cretin. He taunts and he teases and 
plays with his food. That is you, I’m implying. I’m not being rude But 
you don’t stand a chance if you step in the ring. A spear in the arm of 
that man is a sting. He eats the whole rabbit, without even skinning. I 
say it again you have no chance of winning. Flexis is powerful, 
handsome, and burly. As for you, you are covered in hair rather curly. 
Good day to you sir, may the gods will be with you. And may they make 
Flexis just swallow not chew. 

The WOMAN steps into the arena, upon where she and Flexis square off. 

FLEXIS:		You are the fool that has dared to defy me? My chest is a
mountain, my forearms are trees. I’ve barrels for hands but you still 
do not flee. I float like a butterfly, sting like a bee. I could tear 
you in half using only two fingers But that is two simple, the pain 
never lingers. Perhaps I shall do as the Man just suggested. I’ll 
swallow you whole and you’ll be digested. 

WOMAN:		You go right ahead and you swallow me down. But I guarantee
this, you’ll be wearing a frown. Well go on ahead and you do as you 
planned. Shall I help you by crawling up into your hand? That’s what I 
thought, you’re not really so tough. You’re just a big steroid, pumped 
up, super buff. Go away but don’t you forget what I say. I’m a woman 
and damn it, you’ll do things my way. Come closer ye naked excuses of 
men. You sit in the bleachers, locked into your pen. I am a woman, but 
I am not weak. Chosen was I by the goddess to speak. She, Hera, clothed 
me to look like a man. It was all a disguise, all a part of her plan. 
She made me a man to open your eyes. She saw I was suffering, she heard 
all my cries. O’, Benevolent Goddess! Unselfish are ye. Together, 
united, as women are we. I, I the woman, now remove my facade. I am 
equal, thank you Hera, my radiant god. 

FLEXIS leaves the stage during WOMAN’s speech.  WOMAN turns to the crowd
during her closing speech to reveal her gender identity, but realizes 
when she tries to pull the hair off it does not come.  She turns her 
face to the heavens and pleads with Hera, but her prayers go 
unanswered.  The crowd is stunned.  The curtain falls with WOMAN 
weeping into her hands, large mannish sobs coming from her throat.  The 
crowd is still sitting in silence, unable to believe what has happened. 
Blackout. 

THE END 


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