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The lies I tell (standard:humor, 321 words)
Author: MassAdded: Feb 09 2003Views/Reads: 1860/1Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Embelishment of my surfing days memories for the kids!

The lies I tell 

In the olden days, about 20 years ago when I was half my age, (and half
as tough!) I used to be a Surfer-Pirate, (or so I tell the neighbours 

Me & me mates used to take off every weekend. I used to nick off from
school at about lunchtime & Brendan would pick me up in his black 
Morrie. We'd have a ball all weekend, shooting rabbits at night & 
sleeping on the beach, then getting up with the first rays & catching a 
crystal clean wave at Triggs. Life was simple & fun! 

Nowadays I embellish on my memories & add a white lie or two to stir the
kid's imaginations, (beats the @#$%^&* on TV!). 

I tell them “when I was a Surfer-Pirate to be able to carry a Long Sword
(gun surfboard) first you had to eat vegemite toast & fresh lizard 
guts”. One time some enemy surfer pirates came to our surf spot and one 
dropped in on me. His bloodstains are still on my Long Sword to this 
very day, I'll show you if you want”. 

If that's not enough, then you had to swim in shark-infested waters off
Port Lincoln, South Australia, (as nominated by Rodney Fox who was one 
of our crew) with a bag of clams & fish gizzards strapped to your back. 
If you survived the Surfer Pirate god would ensure you surfed shark 
free from then on. 

At night around the campfire we'd sing songs like Dead Skunk in the
middle of the road, American Pie & The Girls from St Moritz (who did 
exercises to develop their etc.etc.) 

I tell them “on Mondays it was back to school for four and a half days,
of which three and a half were pirate studies. We wouldn't be dead for 

It's great to see their faces as the imagination “kicks in”, they almost
believe me!! 


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