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Don't Drink The Water (standard:humor, 4772 words)
Author: radiodenverAdded: Aug 20 2004Views/Reads: 2329/1510Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

Don't Drink the Water 

Having survived a number of life's shipwrecks with little more than my
dignity and my job, I've concluded that my destiny is to suffer in 
silence, an endless stream of private torments whilst those around me 
enjoy their lavish and extravagant lives.  Each day borne of new hopes, 
ends with the feeling that I am afflicted with bad luck and that; 
perhaps, tomorrow may bring some miniscule improvement to the 
disposition of my life. 

The dust of my life slowly settles in my head as I sit gazing through
the office window at the long leafy shadows that dance across the brick 
wall.  My phone is ringing.  The number on the display is the boss, 

Sam is a decent fellow.  He started with the company a few years before
me and he knows the ropes well enough.  We've worked out an informal 
agreement, I keep him up to date with what's going on in my department 
and he won't bother me with mundane matters unless the higher ups are 
pestering him.  Today, the higher ups are buzzing about something. 


“What?”  I think I may have been a little short with Sam.  I hate being
disturbed in the middle of my work. 

“Do you have that project outline for me yet?” 

Oh yes; the project, my outline for corporate success.  I don't have a
clue what senior management is expecting, but a wordy document with 
lots of calculations, figures and graphs of corporate productivity will 
make any middle manager slobber in anticipation.  With the aid of my 
newly purchased computer, I'm well prepared. 

“Yes sir.  Well, almost.  I'll have it to you before I leave today.”  My
outline for corporate success was actually complete days ago.  I didn't 
want to submit it until the last minute on the day I left for vacation; 
it's a technique I have learned throughout the years and if used 
properly, helps keep the questions and work load to a minimum.  Besides 
this most recent “project outline” is nothing more than a rework of the 
last “project outline.”  We seem to go through this exercise every four 
to five years.  I think it's because of new management and turnover.  
Only we crusty veterans who have been around for an eternity know about 
these cycles.  Those fresh out of college or hired from outside the 
company must experience project outlines for the first time.  They are 
generally oblivious to the foresight of the elder statesmen amongst 

“I wonder if I should take my golf clubs with me to Mexico.”  I whisper.

“What's that?” 

“Oh, nothing.  I was just thinking about something else.” 

“Great Lang.  I'll review it and we'll talk about it when you get back
from vacation.  You need a vacation man; you're getting a little edgy.” 

“Yea, I know.  Sorry.” 

Otis the Superintendent saunters into my office daily.  He's a good
fellow but a little preoccupied with leaky faucets and curling floor 
tiles.  I'm his supervisor but I don't spend much time supervising 
unless there's a conflict with vacation requests or somebody has sliced 
their finger off, in which case I have to do paperwork and order 
replacement gauze. 

“Hey Lang, how about a cup of coffee?”  Otis is the only person in the
office that drinks as much coffee as I do.  Any time he sees an empty 
Styrofoam cup sitting atop my desk, he jumps at the opportunity to 
fetch another for me. 

“My fourth of the day.  Okay, sure.”  Maybe I shouldn't drink so much
coffee, but I need it so badly.  If I were to stop my massive 

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