|The Four Gods (standard:humor, 732 words)|
|Author: timster||Added: Sep 27 2004||Views/Reads: 2014/0||Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)|
|Yep, there is only four...|
The Four Gods A long time ago, before stars, quasars, and the other things that make up the universe, there were four entities, which inhabited the empty space. They called themselves Gods, yet they had nothing to rule over. One cosmic day after Perry God had been collecting sub-atomic particles and other assorted junk, he arrived in the company of the other gods after the hundred-year trip. Perry God really didn't take care of himself during that time and gained a bit of weight. Well Charlie God jumped right on this and called Perry God fat and ugly. Perry God took his stuff with him and went off sulking. Fifty Years past and Perry God arrived in the company of the other Gods. He carried what looked like a large bowling ball. Perry God asked Charlie God to take back what he had said. Charlie God called him fat and ugly again. Perry God's face turned bright red and he hurled the bowling ball looking item at Charlie God. A great explosion then ensued and Charlie God was splattered across the universe, thus starting The Big Bang. Perry God thus began to think he was the most powerful of the remaining gods and started bossing the other two around. A small sperm cell from Charlie God ended up in a small star system located in The Milky Way Galaxy and life began to flourish on a small planet. Laurie God was becoming quite irritated with Perry God and decided to discuss the options of Perry God's demise with Tim God, whom was also getting tired of Perry God's ego. The two decided that Perry God must die, but Tim God had another plan for Perry God after his death, which he failed to inform Laurie God of. Tim God told Laurie God the best way to kill a God was to suspend them in a vacuum and they would surely suffocate. It was decided they would use Laurie God as bait. Laurie God found a large bed and laid her naked body upon it. Perry God was always a horny god and couldn't resist the temptation of a year of heaven with Laurie God. He quickly threw off his pants and flew directly into the trap. The invisible door locked Perry God in the vacuum with Laurie God. Tim God felt it would be best to have only one god. Slowly Laurie God and Perry God began to suffocate and their face turned bright red. Their inner workings began to boil and finally exploded in the box. It was quite a mess for Tim God to clean up, but worth it. Tim God felt mush better now without the ego of Perry God and the bitching of Laurie God. All was quiet and serene with the universe now. Tim God was still missing his friend Charlie God and wasn't going to let Perry God's punishment be so light. He really missed those late night poker games. For years Tim God contemplated the final punishment for Perry God. He had to get rid of the mess fore the smell was becoming quite nasty. Tim God decided to send them both as humans to a group of small islands in the Atlantic. Perry God and Laurie God became husband and wife on Falkland Islands with a flock of sheep. He felt that would serve as fine punishment having to live with Laurie God. Tim God thought Perry God would never have sex again in his life. In a weak moment Laurie God gave in to Perry God and soon she was pregnant. Tim God watched over this and made a slight adjustment in the DNA of the child. Soon Laurie God and Perry God were parents of a healthy sheep, named Fluffy. Another weak moment occurred a year or so later and another sheep was born, named Saffy. This caused quite a stir in The Falklands with enormous media pressure put on the ex-gods. Tim God put a suggestion into the mind of the featured reporter of Falklands to move next door to them. Herth and Helga Gilmore moved in next door to Laurie God and Perry God. The two ex gods were left under the intense scrutiny of Herth Gilmore and were constantly in the daily newscast. They became the joke of The Falklands. Tim God was now at peace with the universe. Tweet
Authors appreciate feedback!
Please vote, and write to the authors to tell them what you liked or didn't like about the story!
timster has 26 active stories on this site.
Profile for timster, incl. all stories
For a quick, anonymous response to the author of this story, type
a message below. It will be sent to the author by email.