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The Four Gods (standard:humor, 732 words)
Author: timsterAdded: Sep 27 2004Views/Reads: 2356/1Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Yep, there is only four...

The Four Gods 

A long time ago, before stars, quasars, and the other things that make
up the universe, there were four entities, which inhabited the empty 
space.  They called themselves Gods, yet they had nothing to rule over. 

One cosmic day after Perry God had been collecting sub-atomic particles
and other assorted junk, he arrived in the company of the other gods 
after the hundred-year trip.  Perry God really didn't take care of 
himself during that time and gained a bit of weight.  Well Charlie God 
jumped right on this and called Perry God fat and ugly.  Perry God took 
his stuff with him and went off sulking. 

Fifty Years past and Perry God arrived in the company of the other Gods.
 He carried what looked like a large bowling ball.  Perry God asked 
Charlie God to take back what he had said.  Charlie God called him fat 
and ugly again.  Perry God's face turned bright red and he hurled the 
bowling ball looking item at Charlie God.  A great explosion then 
ensued and Charlie God was splattered across the universe, thus 
starting The Big Bang.  Perry God thus began to think he was the most 
powerful of the remaining gods and started bossing the other two 

A small sperm cell from Charlie God ended up in a small star system
located in The Milky Way Galaxy and life began to flourish on a small 

Laurie God was becoming quite irritated with Perry God and decided to
discuss the options of Perry God's demise with Tim God, whom was also 
getting tired of Perry God's ego.  The two decided that Perry God must 
die, but Tim God had another plan for Perry God after his death, which 
he failed to inform Laurie God of.  Tim God told Laurie God the best 
way to kill a God was to suspend them in a vacuum and they would surely 
suffocate.   It was decided they would use Laurie God as bait. 

Laurie God found a large bed and laid her naked body upon it.  Perry God
was always a horny god and couldn't resist the temptation of a year of 
heaven with Laurie God.  He quickly threw off his pants and flew 
directly into the trap.  The invisible door locked Perry God in the 
vacuum with Laurie God.  Tim God felt it would be best to have only one 

Slowly Laurie God and Perry God began to suffocate and their face turned
bright red.  Their inner workings began to boil and finally exploded in 
the box.  It was quite a mess for Tim God to clean up, but worth it.  
Tim God felt mush better now without the ego of Perry God and the 
bitching of Laurie God.  All was quiet and serene with the universe 

Tim God was still missing his friend Charlie God and wasn't going to let
Perry God's punishment be so light.  He really missed those late night 
poker games. 

For years Tim God contemplated the final punishment for Perry God.  He
had to get rid of the mess fore the smell was becoming quite nasty.  
Tim God decided to send them both as humans to a group of small islands 
in the Atlantic.  Perry God and Laurie God became husband and wife on 
Falkland Islands with a flock of sheep.  He felt that would serve as 
fine punishment having to live with Laurie God.  Tim God thought Perry 
God would never have sex again in his life. 

In a weak moment Laurie God gave in to Perry God and soon she was
pregnant.  Tim God watched over this and made a slight adjustment in 
the DNA of the child.  Soon Laurie God and Perry God were parents of a 
healthy sheep, named Fluffy.  Another weak moment occurred a year or so 
later and another sheep was born, named Saffy. 

This caused quite a stir in The Falklands with enormous media pressure
put on the ex-gods.  Tim God put a suggestion into the mind of the 
featured reporter of Falklands to move next door to them.  Herth and 
Helga Gilmore moved in next door to Laurie God and Perry God.  The two 
ex gods were left under the intense scrutiny of Herth Gilmore and were 
constantly in the daily newscast.  They became the joke of The 

Tim God was now at peace with the universe. 


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