|The Vernal Equinox (standard:humor, 521 words)|
|Author: timster||Added: Sep 27 2004||Views/Reads: 1915/0||Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)|
|Herth is at it again...|
The F.I.N.N brings you the Nightly News featuring Herth Gilmore Herth here with today's top story, jeez, I hope it's only one. Today was the Vernal Equinox here in The Falklands; well I guess everywhere. It marks the beginning of fall here and a busy time for our sheepherders. You know, my dad was a sheepherder and this was not his favorite time of the year. Shave the sheep, so you folks in the Mother Country can have your Kashmir. Don't you bloody fools know it's just scratchy sheep hair. Some even have scabies; just ask ranchers Perry and Laurie. My dad would come in from a long day of shaving sheep and would go right for the antiseptic. To hear him yell from the bathroom in pain was quite enough for this young tot. It really must have burned. Of course you know scabies love hairy places, all hairy places. Daddy would come out of the bathroom quite red and pissed off. God, I hate sheep. Now, where was I? Oh yes, my oh my, my mind must be feeling the effects of sheep in heat. The Vernal Equinox was today and all the sheep are ready to mate. That's makes it hard to shave the sheep, well because sheep will, err, umm, get you in some strange positions. While your shaving one, the others will gather round and try to mate with the shaver. One day Daddy brought some mace with him to the field. What he found out was mace doesn't work the same way on sheep as it does on people. It seems it acts as more of a love potion. I will never forget that day. The sheep chased him to the house, broke down the door, chased him up the stairs, and all I heard was screaming. Later after Mom chased the sheep out with a butcher knife. I heard her tell dad she would never touch him again. Seems I've gotten a bit off track, sorry. Yes, here on The Falklands it is a busy time of the year. The ranchers will sell their wool and make plenty of money. The newborn sheep that will soon be upon us will be the envy of the rest of the world. Daddy always was the beneficiary of several newborn sheep. I remember him telling us he was going to the field to make sure the youngsters were fine. Sometimes he would talk about them like they were one of the family. He would take a baby bottle with him full of sheep milk and proceed to feed them. Daddy was a bit strange and the baby sheep called him Da. Maybe that's why Mom didn't want him to touch her anymore. Come to think of it, we didn't have any male sheep. Yes, it was the Vernal Equinox here on the planet earth and life is grand on The Falklands. The money will soon make its way to the Islands and plenty of goodies will arrive from mainlands throughout he world. We here on The Falklands love this time of year. This has been Herth Gilmore Tweet
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