|A Day in the Life (standard:humor, 940 words)|
|Author: Andrew Dayton||Added: Oct 19 2004||Views/Reads: 2057/0||Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)|
|Cartoon characters causing mayhem.|
A Day in the Life One day after church, Curious George went riding along on the back of Marmaduke looking for the gang. Since most of them went to church they were not to be found for most of the morning. All except for the big stars like Chuck, Lucy and the rest of those old pain-in -the-butts. All they did on Sunday morning was put on their comic strip clothes and go to work for about an hour and spend the rest of their day bitching about how tough it all was. Nobody gave a darn since the stars were rich and hadn't seen the inside of a church since hitting it big. Least of all to care were George and Marmy who didn't go to church anyway. Lately George had been learning a lot from reading about how his life was nothing more than that of a kidnapped child at the greedy hands of the man in the big yellow hat. His resentment was growing and so escalated the kinds of trouble he was causing. Marmy was a good companion as he was dumb enough to do what he was told and was always good for a speedy getaway from the crime of the day. So as they trotted across the pasture on this hot, sunny day they saw Chuck's head gleaming in the sun and veered over to meet him. He was stubbing his foot around a patch of blackened ground beside the barn. He had been lighting fires again. Chuck was wearing his "screw work" clothes, which generally consisted of an old sportcoat and a pair of sunglasses with one of the lenses missing. He was one weird dude. " Hey Chuck", yelled George. "Hiya jerks" came Chuck's usual reply. " And if you don't start calling me Charles the Third, I'll cut your head off for an ashtray you stupid monk!" This usual exchange of pleasantries done George hopped to the ground and he as well as Chuck looked around, as if for eavesdroppers. Marmy caught on after a moment and swiveled his head around too, without the least idea what he was looking for. "What's on for today, Chuck the Turd"? said George. "Wanna go to Wesco's Walk up Laundry and push a baby out the window?" asked Chuck with one of his disconcerting titters. "No way, over too quick and anyway, I like trouble where you get to hang around and watch shit come apart" Came George's practical reply. Chuck leaned in, looking close at George's face to see if this was a put on and the leaned back, shook out a smoke and then lit it, tossing the match to the grass at Marmy's feet. "That so? Well, I got a real good notion today. Don't know if I should tell you all though." There was something sinister in his leer that made George swallow a smart comeback. Instead he decided to wait Chuck out. Chuck gave in. "Ever hang around and see a whole gas station burn, Monk?" "What? No way!" Came George's awed response. "When and where?" "My old man's place downtown. He's been giving me noise about sleeping with Peppermint Patty and wanting to move in with her. I figure I'll see how much trouble he's giving me when I'm the only one bringing in the bread around my house with his gas station turned into a crater." "I'm TOTALLY in," said George. "Woof" said Marmaduke. They trotted off to get Chuck's bike and some more matches they had stashed and went downtown. A monkey on the back of a dog was not unusual in this town, nor was Chuck's odd appearance. But a sharp observer this day would have seen looks of evil delight that these sociopaths just couldn't hide. It was George's idea that they wait for a police cruiser to come in for a fill up before making their play. As soon as a cop came in to fill up they tensed. They waited for him to go inside and examine the doughnut display before going over to the pump and pretending to fill a jug with gas. As they poured the gas out on the ground they suppressed giggles and watched it run out to the curb. "That'll be $6.00 you pack of bastards", smirked Chuck. George felt a sudden, strong urge to urinate. They sauntered out into the sunlight and Chuck tossed a lit smoke into the gas pooled in the street and broke into a run. George grabbed Marmy's collar and swung up and they too were off. They were halfway down the block when an over pressure of ignited fumes pushed them against a parked car. They collapsed and were in gales of laughter before they even turned to look at what havoc they had caused. The beginning of a perfect mushroom cloud was just forming when out of it came a shrieking woman, afire and carrying a baby. "Better than a window, hey Chuck?" Said George through his tears. "Oooooh," howled Chuck in perfect ecstasy. As people ran closer a couple of cars went up and scythed the crowd with a deadly shrapnel blizzard. This was just too utterly perfect, and the three companions were lost in the sheer joy of the moment. The carnage raged on for several minutes and George looked up, as if giving thanks. He looked over his shoulder and squinted at the sunlight. As he watched the smoke drift across the sun he thought to himself that after today he was going to call Chuck whatever the hell he wanted to be called. He'd earned it. Tweet
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