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A Day in the Life (standard:humor, 940 words)
Author: Andrew DaytonAdded: Oct 19 2004Views/Reads: 2180/0Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Cartoon characters causing mayhem.
 



A Day in the Life 

One day after church, Curious George went riding along on the back of
Marmaduke looking for the gang.  Since most of them went to church they 
were not to be found for most of the morning.  All except for the big 
stars like Chuck, Lucy and the rest of those old pain-in -the-butts.  
All they did on Sunday morning was put on their comic strip clothes and 
go to work for about an hour and spend the rest of their day bitching 
about how tough it all was.  Nobody gave a darn since the stars were 
rich and hadn't seen the inside of a church since hitting it big.  
Least of all to care were George and Marmy who didn't go to church 
anyway. Lately George had been learning a lot from reading about how 
his life was nothing more than that of a kidnapped child at the greedy 
hands of the man in the big yellow hat.  His resentment was growing and 
so escalated the kinds of trouble he was causing.  Marmy was a good 
companion as he was dumb enough to do what he was told and was always 
good for a speedy getaway from the crime of the day. 

So as they trotted across the pasture on this hot, sunny day they saw
Chuck's head gleaming in the sun and veered over to meet him.  He was 
stubbing his foot around a patch of blackened ground beside the barn.  
He had been lighting fires again. Chuck was wearing his "screw work" 
clothes, which generally consisted of an old sportcoat and a pair of 
sunglasses with one of the lenses missing.  He was one weird dude. 

" Hey Chuck", yelled George. "Hiya jerks" came Chuck's usual reply.  "
And if you don't start calling me Charles the Third, I'll cut your head 
off for an ashtray you stupid monk!" 

This usual exchange of pleasantries done George hopped to the ground and
he as well as Chuck looked  around, as if for eavesdroppers.  Marmy 
caught on after a moment and swiveled his head around too, without the 
least idea what he was looking for. 

"What's on for today, Chuck the Turd"?  said George. "Wanna go to
Wesco's Walk up Laundry and push a baby out the window?"  asked Chuck 
with one of his disconcerting titters. "No way, over too quick and 
anyway, I like trouble where you get to hang around and watch shit come 
apart" Came George's practical reply. Chuck leaned in, looking close at 
George's face to see if this was a put on and the leaned back, shook 
out a smoke and then lit it, tossing the match to the grass at Marmy's 
feet. "That so?  Well, I got a real good notion today.  Don't know if I 
should tell you all though." There was something sinister in his leer 
that made George swallow a smart comeback.  Instead he decided to wait 
Chuck out. Chuck gave in. "Ever hang around and see a whole gas station 
burn, Monk?" "What?  No way!" Came George's awed response. "When and 
where?" "My old man's place downtown.  He's been giving me noise about 
sleeping with Peppermint Patty and wanting to move in with her.  I 
figure I'll see how much trouble he's giving me when I'm the only one 
bringing in the bread around my house with his gas station turned into 
a crater." "I'm TOTALLY in," said George. "Woof" said Marmaduke. 

They trotted off to get Chuck's bike and some more matches they had
stashed and went downtown.  A monkey on the back of a dog was not 
unusual in this town, nor was Chuck's odd appearance.  But a sharp 
observer this day would have seen looks of evil delight that these 
sociopaths just couldn't hide. 

It was George's idea that they wait for a police cruiser to come in for
a fill up before making their play.  As soon as a cop came in to fill 
up they tensed.  They waited for him to go inside and examine the 
doughnut display before going over to the pump and pretending to fill a 
jug with gas.  As they poured the gas out on the ground they suppressed 
giggles and watched it run out to the curb. 

"That'll be $6.00 you pack of bastards", smirked Chuck. George felt a
sudden, strong urge to urinate. They sauntered out into the sunlight 
and Chuck tossed a lit smoke into the gas pooled in the street and 
broke into a run.  George grabbed Marmy's collar and swung up and they 
too were off. 

They were halfway down the block when an over pressure of ignited fumes
pushed them against a parked car.  They collapsed and were in gales of 
laughter before they even turned to look at what havoc they had caused. 


The beginning of a perfect mushroom cloud was just forming when out of
it came a shrieking woman, afire and carrying a baby. "Better than a 
window, hey Chuck?"  Said George through his tears. "Oooooh," howled 
Chuck in perfect ecstasy. As people ran closer a couple of cars went up 
and scythed the crowd with a deadly shrapnel blizzard.  This was just 
too utterly perfect, and the three companions were lost in the sheer 
joy of the moment. The carnage raged on for several minutes and George 
looked up, as if giving thanks.  He looked over his shoulder and 
squinted at the sunlight.  As he watched the smoke drift across the sun 
he thought to himself that after today he was going to call Chuck 
whatever the hell he wanted to be called.  He'd earned it. 


   


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