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Two dognappers meet Kupcake (standard:humor, 506 words)
Author: AbbieAdded: Jan 09 2005Views/Reads: 2693/0Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Two bungling criminals take on more than they can handle.

Elsa and Armando 

Two thieves take on more than they can handle 

The two conspirators sat in a coffee shop and she, Elsa, and he,
Armando, sipped on black coffee.   Armando's eyes darted quickly around 
the bright, cheerful café; he wanted to see if anyone was eavesdropping 
on him.  He spoke in hushed tones, “Look babe, it is an easy snatch,” 
“we just jimmy the lock, go in and take him.” “Yeah I know” replied 
Elsa but what if he you know makes noises?  Armando thought for a 
minute then he huffed, “we will drug him first” 

That night Elsa and her main squeeze Armando drove silently in their
beat up silver Cadillac to the crumbling mansion on the hill. The two 
kidnappers side stepped the huge mounds of poop which were everywhere.  
  “Wow, that hound must have eaten Chicago,” snarled Armando.  “And 
Texas too,” noted Elsa.  Maybe we should have taken Bubs on board.  
“You know to handle a hound of that size.””  Nah, he's hooked up with 
Louie on the south side.”  “They have their own scam “Armando intoned 

Having made it through the front yard, the two evil doers tiptoed over
to an open window.   Elsa peered inside and put her hand on her hip, 
“well one  of us has got to go in and it ain't gonna be me.”  Armando 
said,” yeah and you're too fat, so I guess it's me.” 

With that, Armando stuck his head in the screen door and the rest of his
muscular body followed.   He landed with a thud on the kitchen floor of 
Ms. Sarah's mansion.   The kitchen had all the modern accoutrements, a 
toaster, dish disposal, chrome spigots, and a gas range top.  The floor 
was linoleum with green and tan squares. 

Armando went over to the kitchen door and let Elsa in.  “Bout time, it's
freezing out there” she hissed.  “Yeah, go tell it to the marines.”  He 
snapped back.  Once inside Elsa and Armando flattened themselves 
against the wall and slid to the exit of the kitchen. 

Quietly they scampered down the hallway and up the carpeted steps.   
Under one door a light shone, and Armando and Elsa could see four tiny 
feet.   “Didn't youse say she was a big dog?”   That's what Bubs told 
me.  Answered Armando.  “Well this will be a piece of cake pal.” 

With that Elsa and Armando burst inside.  A small yorkie named Kupcake
sat and wagged its tail at them.   Elsa quickly snatched Kupcake and 
put her in her bag.   All of a sudden a terrible growl was heard and 
the bag began to shake.  One foot jammed out of the bag and Kupcake 

Armando quickly side stepped the charging Kupcake.  Kupcake lunged at
him again and got him on the jugular.  With that Armando and Elsa raced 
down the stairs out of the house and into their car.    Armando turned 
on the ignition and sped off.  “I don't care if we coulda netted ten 
million.” Said Elsa, that dog was just too mean for me. 


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