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The Reluctant King - A Rat Story (standard:humor, 1796 words)
Author: hvysmkerAdded: Feb 11 2005Views/Reads: 2495/1610Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes) In the year 2220 B.C., Genghis Rat rode his aardvark across the prairies of Central China. At the time, the Chinese had developed only a crude civilization, with minor despots ruling small city-states. Gen

In the year 2220 B.C., Genghis Rat rode his aardvark across the prairies
of Central China.  At the time, the Chinese had developed only a crude 
civilization, with minor despots ruling small city-states. 

Genghis was tired from riding.  An aardvark wasn't the gentlest creature
to ride.  The sneaky beast bumped, bounced, and rattled over the almost 
level ground, dropping crap in it's wake. 

Behind the leader, Genghis, came a large horde of ravenous rats, needing
food, drink, women, and loot, not necessarily in that order.  They were 
a noisy, uneducated, group.  Waving swords and tommy guns, they left 
ruin and desolation behind them, mixed with aardvark poop. 

A bouncing aardvark was seen ahead of them, racing back to the pack.  It
was the scout, Tommy Ratinski.  Genghis held up his paw to stop the 
restless horde behind him; meanwhile pulling on the reins of his own 
steed, Homer.  The grateful Homer stopped to eat grass while Genghis 
and the others waited for scout Tommy. 

The scout's aardvark eventually bounced to a halt next to Genghis Rat. 
It stood sweating and panting while Tommy gasped out what he had found 
up ahead. 

“A.... A.... A fight up ahead, boss,” he gasped out in a near panic,
“humans fighting.  A dozen of them against three women, a rat, a skunk 
and a human woman.”  He gasped out. 

“All right, Tommy,” Genghis grinned, “what's the punchline?  It's a lame
joke anyway.  I heard it before.”  Genghis's grin widened.  How dumb 
did they think he was.  “Which one's the farmer's daughter?” 

“No, really boss.  No joke, they're really fighting, a whole buncha'
humans.”  Tommy Ratinski insisted. 

“Then we better save the women.”  Genghis turned and signaled his wild
herd.  “Let's go gettum' you guys.”  The whole horde thundered over the 
hill on their bouncing aardvarks, to the rescue. 

When they crested the hill, the thundering rats saw the three women
fighting for their lives, dead humans piled around them.  The rat and 
skunk thrust and parried with their swords, while the human woman 
crouched down with a knife, afraid to join the fray. 

He heard the rat lady yell “Hiyyyyeeeeiii” and saw her jump up to stick
her knife into the right eye of one human assailant while the skunk 
girl turned tail and used her last defense, spraying two others.  The 
ineffectual human woman just waved her little knife in the air. 

By that time, Genghis and his pack of rats arrived, tearing the savages
apart with their sharp blades and bouncing aardvarks.  It was over in 
moments, none of the miscreants having a chance to escape. 

“Hey, you guys stand back there, I'm the boss.”  Genghis had to shove
and kick other rats out of the way.  Everyone wanted to console the 
first two girls.  The human stood up by herself, obviously afraid since 
her legs were still shaking. 

“You girls ok, now.  We took care of those low-lifes?”  Genghis asked,
one arm around the girl rat and the other around the skunk.  Her white 
striped tail coiled around Genghis's neck, clutching him in gratitude, 
and distracting him while she wiped her sword off on his fur. 

“Oh, thank you, Sir.”  The rat girl kissed Genghis, bringing a low growl
from the other rat gang members.  “They would have violated us, a fate 
worse than dearth.  The cheap bastards wouldn't even pay the going 

“And you think I will, ladies?”  Genghis grinned and growled, grabbing
them tighter while his men advanced.  “Guess this just isn't your day.” 

As his men lined up to violate the two girls, Genghis, the rat, turned
to the human female.  No sexual interest there.  She was big, bulky, 
and covered with tattoos yet. 

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