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Chocolate Is My Favorite Health Food (standard:humor, 922 words)
Author: GodspenmanAdded: Apr 04 2006Views/Reads: 2329/1146Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Finally, the medical world has caught up with what the rest of us have known all the time, namely, chocolate is good for us. And I for one think it is about time.

Finally, the medical world has caught up with what the rest of us have
known all the time, namely, chocolate is good for us. And I for one 
think it is about time. 

According to recent medical research, chocolate has marvelous benefits
for the human body. Who in their right mind did not know this? As a 
subscriber to the Old England Journal of Homemade Cures and Potions, I 
have known for a very long time that the consumption of chocolate 
carries with it healthy advantages. For years, this journal carried 
many delicious articles touting the benefits of chocolate. And I have 
eaten it all up not to mention several boxes of chocolate. 

This introduces me to a disturbing thought. I'm grateful for the
advancement of modern medicine and science but what I want to know is 
simply this: if the medical world was mistaken about chocolate, what 
else are they mistaken about? Could it be that my long-time suspicions 
about broccoli are right? Has the medical world, which boasted for 
years about the dietary benefit of broccoli, been wrong all these 

With recent discoveries, I think this is a real possibility. 

I have been saying for years that broccoli was bad for you and chocolate
was good for you. It seems I have been half right and I suspect another 
few years will prove I am 100 percent right on both subjects. 

Because I have been right about chocolate, I'm not going to take the
chance I'm wrong about broccoli. I propose to eat as much chocolate as 
possible and avoid broccoli in any and every form. 

In light of these recent discoveries concerning chocolate, I thought I
would lend my expertise on the subject of how to eat chocolate. Because 
many people have for so long been under the delusion that chocolate was 
not healthy, most people do not know how to eat chocolate. 

I offer myself as an expert on the art of eating chocolate and I have
the empty boxes to support my boast. 

Before giving my tips on eating chocolate, let me just say that the
chocolate chip cookie is the basic host for chocolate for the novice 
chocolate eater. Each chocolate chip cookie carries the proper amount 
of chocolate for the person denied chocolate all these years. 

So, start out with a chocolate chip cookie to make sure you're on the
safe side of this issue. To know the proper amount of cookies, take 
your weight divided by your height (in inches) and multiplied by your 
age. This formula never fails. 

Because chocolate is rather a new food category for most people, let me
offer a few tips as you begin the marvelous discovery of the chocolate 

1. When you begin eating chocolate, make sure you do it one bite at a
time. This is important. Do not succumb to the temptation of taking 
double or triple bites as you begin. Down the road as you become more 
adapt at eating chocolate you might grow into this facet of chocolate 

2. If you have a wrapped chocolate bar, remember, it must be unwrapped
and allowed to breathe like a fine wine. Many people yield to the 
temptation of ripping open a candy bar and immediately taking a bite. 
This is wrong. Chocolate is delicate and must be nurtured carefully in 
order to enjoy its flavor to its fullest for the longest period of 

3. When it comes to chewing chocolate, a person must be very careful.
Each bite of chocolate must be chewed no less than 12 times out of 
respect for the cacao seed that sacrificed itself for your toothsome 

Eating chocolate is a slow, reverent and loving experience. Perhaps the
reason so many thought chocolate was not good for a person is that they 
ate it too fast. 

I once tried chewing a chocolate bar only 11 times and choked. I learned

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