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AT THE DOC'S (standard:humor, 423 words)
Author: Danny ZilAdded: Apr 14 2006Views/Reads: 2827/0Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
The Doc wants to run some tests....but this dude ain't got the time for that kinda gig.

“If you carry on drinking like this,” the Doc said to me, “you'll never
see the year out.” 

I glanced at my watch. It was mid-day on the thirty first of December.
Hey, we were cuttin things kinda fine here. 

The Doc studied some medical lookin reports. He tapped his fingers on
his desk. Then he tapped his feet on the floor. Then he tapped a 
cigarette from me an lit it. He peered at me over his full-moon 
glasses. “We've had the results of your tests back,” he said 
eventually, indicating the reports, “and they don't look good.” 

“How come ?” I asked. 

“You failed in English, Maths and Science,” he replied and giggled. 

I threw my head back an laughed but it sounded hollow. Like the
soft-nosed slug I heard clicked into a chamber. I glanced back sharply 
an the Doc had a Magnum pointin at me. 

“Hearing seems fine,” he said and laid the revolver down. 

The Nurse came into the room. She had one of those bodies a man would
kill for – flat stomach, great biceps, dark moustache. “There are some 
people in the Waiting Room, Doctor,” she informed him. 

“No problem,” he replied, “I've rented it out to them for a couple of

The Nurse looked over at me an smiled but I realised there was somethin
phoney about it. “It's my gums,” she explained, “they're false.” 

“You can put your clothes back on now,” the Doc told me. 

It was then I understood how bad his eyesight was – I hadn't taken them
off in the first place. 

An Ambulance siren started wailin a coupla streets away, grew louder as
it reached the buildin then gradually began to grow fainter again as it 
headed off into the distance. 

“Try to ignore it,” advised the Nurse. “It's only Pierre – he does those
damn siren impressions all day long just to irritate us.” 

The Doc leafed through some medical forms an handed one to her. “We'll
have to run more tests,” he told me. “The Nurse will explain what we 

She glanced at the form then strolled over to a cupboard an came back
with a few of those little medical containers. “We'll need some samples 
from you,” she said. “If you follow me, I'll show you into a cubicle.” 

“What kinda samples?” I asked. 

“Well we need a urine sample, a stool sample and a semen sample,” she

“Hell Nurse,” I drawled, “I'm in kind of a hurry. Mind if I just leave
my shorts ?” 


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