|The Great Flood (standard:humor, 909 words)|
|Author: Oscar Rat||Added: Jun 01 2006||Views/Reads: 1959/1338||Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)|
|Noah saved the animals, but what about the insects. This is their story of the Flood. Oscar Rat|
Gods are known to be jokers. Let me tell you of one such occasion. One of the stories gods still tell at their heavenly parties. It seems there was this one, deeply religious, rat. He was a woodworker, making outside toilets for both rodents and humans -- a simple, hard working little rodent. One day he was busily chewing a hole in a board to make an outside toilet for some fat-butted human to sit on, when he heard a voice. "Noah." It came out of the sky. "Noah Rat." It repeated. "What you want?" "Noah." "What you want?" "Noah." "What the hell you want?" "Noah." "What the hell you want, butthole. I'm busy here." "Noah." "Screw you." "Noah, this is your Lord, the Supreme Rat." "Sure. Sure it is. Get off it, Jack." "No, really. It's me, your buddy, the Supreme Rat." "So? Then prove it?" "Remember that beautiful squirrel, three nights ago? You know, when you couldn't get it u. . . .?" "Hey! Sorry, Lord. That's good enough, it's you. What you want, Lord?" "I want you to build an ark, and to gather two of every insect -- just like in that other book." "What about animals, Lord?" "Another god's got that covered, Noah. Don't worry about it." "How do I get two insects, Lord? By the time I get them on board, there's gonna be zillions of the critters?" "Easy, Noah. You only get the gay ones, the homos." "Let me get this straight, SR. You want me to search the world for homosexual insects?" "Riiiiight." "Then put them on a floating crapper? The only thing I know how to build is shithouses." "Riiiiiight." "What for? Wouldn't we be better off without the darn things?" "The world needs insects, Noah. Trust me, I know." "How the hell I do that? I make things outa' wood. I don't know nothing bout that collecting stuff?" "Simple, Noah. I'll give you the needed skills. . . . And all the pizzas you can eat." Click here to read the rest of this story (76 more lines)
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