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How I met my girlfriend, Malodor Skunk (standard:humor, 2692 words)
Author: Oscar RatAdded: Jun 01 2006Views/Reads: 2410/1343Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
A story by about how I met my gal. A true story. Oscar Rat
 



"Please, Peuti, can you keep those kids quiet? I have to study for a
Geology test," Malodor begged her older sister. 

A member of a large family of skunks, she had to share her room in the
family burrow with two sisters. As if that weren't bad enough, sister 
Piuti had to go and get pregnant. Now there were six in the small 
earthen room, including: Peuti, younger sister Stinklee, Malodor 
herself, and babies Tommy, Jeffrey, and Nancy. All those skunks made it 
hard for Malodor to do her schoolwork. 

There were only four rooms in their burrow, one for the girls, one for
five boys, and her parent's bedroom. The fourth was a larger family 
room and kitchen. They had to go outside to relieve themselves, with no 
inside plumbing. The burrow home was out in the countryside, with a 
walk of just under a mile for Malodor to get back and forth to school. 

She had to finish high school, Malodor thought, in order to get a good
job and out of that crowded mess. Malodor didn't want to marry the 
first nice skunk boy she could find, then settle down in the same kind 
of burrow, to have her own dozen kids. Although she had no real plans, 
the youngster wanted something better than that same old backwoods 
lifestyle. 

*** 

Not all that personable or intelligent, poor Malodor suffered through
high school, becoming a very nervous little rodent. Graduating fourth 
from the bottom of her class, she found herself with a diploma. Armed 
with that piece of paper, she set out looking for a job. Anything to be 
able to move out on her own. 

"I see you had a "C" average in math," Mr. Gopher looked her over, "Can
you type?" 

"Well . . . almost. We couldn't afford a computer at home, but I
practiced on a friend's once in a while." 

"Here, young lady. Sit down and let's see how you do." 

Malodor pecked away with two claws, nervously getting the "f" and "r",
along with the "s" and "a" keys mixed up. After what seemed like only a 
few seconds, she heard a "ding" as the test ended. 

She not only didn't get the job, but knew she couldn't type well enough.
 That experience told her not to bother with any position where she'd 
have to take a typing test. 

Discouraged, the young skunk tried for factory work. 

"Sorry, Ms. Skunk, but you're a little too small for this work. We
prefer larger animals, like dogs or aardvarks, for factory work. You're 
just not large enough and can't lift heavy weights. It's not your 
fault. would you like to take a typing test? Maybe we could use someone 
in the office?" 

"No. That's alright, Mr. Possum," she told him, "I can't type very
well." 

With yet another whole field she had to avoid, what was left, Malodor
wondered?  Now she was feeling even more insecure. And her she had 
thought her diploma would make it easy. 

"Well, at least I'm old enough to buy a beer, she thought, stopping in
at the "Ratskeller Bar" in the basement of the Ezboard Building. It was 
a hot day, early in the season, and she still hadn't shed all her 
winter fur. 

Tired from job-hunting, Malodor enjoyed sipping a cold brew in an
air-conditioned room. She relaxed in a back booth of the mostly empty 
room, with her tired feet up on the seat beside her -- feeling 
circulation return to her sore legs. Ah, that feels good, she thought. 

Relaxed and half asleep in the cool room, the tired young skunk barely
noticed a large rat come in and sit at the bar. 



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