|lemon mule (standard:humor, 1214 words)|
|Author: stanley mcqueen kentucky backwoods writer||Added: Apr 05 2007||Views/Reads: 2415/0||Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)|
|short backwood tale..humor but serious theme|
Lemon Mule Stanley Mcqueen Taylor Bishop come riding a tall mule down the dusty wagon road that goes pass our shack, I and pappy are setting under the shade of the apple tree that stands at the edge of our small yard. Howdy Frank calls out Taylor voice , Howdy back at you pappy says” where in the name of heaven did you get that tall mule asked ask Pappy, I just traded for him about and hour ago he replied to Pappy” ain,t he a good looker Taylor brags” he sure is pappy says” and I bet I know who you traded with Pappy remarks” who said” Taylor? being curious to whom, pappy would mention. Old Man Rufus Moore pa quicky answered” How you know that asked Taylor? Well that darn mule has been here and yonder nearly ever corn farmer in these parts has owned him at least once pa “ and I have noticed that people don,t keep him for very long pa muttered” Glory bee say Taylor are you saying I have latched on to a lemon mule asked Taylor? Yes sir that mule is the worst thing that ever was here in Muddy Fork county declares pappy” why would that be asked Taylor? looking big eyed at pappy words about the mule, he is bad luck ever one that trades for him falls into the worse turn of bad luck a man could have, last fall I traded for him it never rained on my tobacco and corn crop and ever one here in and around the district got rain on their crops but me, and some corn farms was as near as a mile to my place here, and they Got lots of rain and I got none “ pappy declares”so I traded his to Tom north and got shed of him that next spring after my crop failed, after I got shed of him things around the farm got normal again pap swore”: Glory bee I never heard of things happening because of a dumb brute mule like bad fortunes “declared Taylor” well it's ever word the truth pap ‘said pap” why friend you are now a victum its sort of like a curse but not as hardly as severe” pap assures Taylor” “shuck boys” im destroyed”, I have more bad luck now than a man can carry in a burlap sack Taylor confesses”what am I to do asked excited Taylor ? Well the first thing I would do is lead that mule down to the little goose chapel church and let the saints pray over him and maybe, that would help” explain pappy”mercy sakes alive I haven't been to church down there in going on seven years Taylor admits”..Don't guess folks would cotton to a backslider bringing a lemon mule to be prayed over. After I went over the hill on God and all ‘says Taylor” well saints suppose to be forgiving and all is the way my Good book reads paw explains”well I quit going there because Rev Smith preach on moonshine drinking and was saying a man would end up in the middle of hell fire if he kept drinking moonshine spirits, and that sort of went cross grain on my ways, as you know I take a snort now and again” Admits Taylor” Well friend your sure in a mess of trouble with that lemon mule and I declare I don't really know what else to tell you that might solve this trouble that fate has handed you paw muttered” well im going on toward home and get some horseshoes and tie around his neck and get me a mess of rabbits foots and try that, and see if that keeps bad luck from finding me and this lemon mule . Taylor slaps the tall mule on the rear and the mule carried him away in a fast gait toward his farm that is about a mile on down the road. Paw chuckled as we both watch him disappear in the distance. He is a case ain,t he says paw , he believes ever thing anyone tells him “say paw “ you mean you made up a pack of lies about that mule I asked paw? Well yes and let me tell you why suggest paw” well that Taylor is not such a bad fellow at all , he was once a good church goer and all and he has fell back to drinking moonshine pretty hard, and I figured he would take the mule to be prayed over and maybe he take to attending little goose chapel church meeting again ,no real harm intended” paw adds “ time went on and we had not seen Taylor in a good spell, and we wondered about him and his whereabouts , then on Sunday morning when all was assemble in our little slab church having the usual meeting, when Taylor come busting in the door while Rev smith was giving the Sunday sermon, sorry to intrude him voice rang out but I need help, he sobs,”what on earth is wrong asked the excited preacher. Well it a long story but I just have to have a mule prayed over and quick Taylor said: getting his breath hard like, i,ll explain later he adds, just everyone hurry and come out side and pray for this lemon mule , all the saints rose to there feet and assembled outside to where the tall sweaty mule was tied to the church porch post. What should we pray asked a red faced saint? Pray that a curse will be lifted off this lemon mule so I can raised by crops and want starve to death beg Taylor” the good saints of little goose laid hands on the mule and prayed that a curse would be lifted , and then after the prayers was made some spiritual song were sung over the mule.. Then Taylor pause in relief , folks since I traded for this mule , my cows all got out and I have spend a week in getting them gathered up, and last week that storm that come blowing threw here blew part of my barn roof off , and my wife fell and broke her leg stumbled on rock , to tell you the truth that mule standing there before you has brought me nothing but bad luck explained Taylor, and something else brothers and sisters, I never going over the hill on God again , that backsliding back down the hill on God only brings a man to poverty and sorrow, then all the saints went to shaking Taylor hand in fellowship and they were shouting welcome back brother Taylor , yes sir brothers and sisters I have learnt well that backsliding on God only brings sorrows and grief, I poured out my moonshine spirits this morning and im never drinking again from old slew foot bottle, I have crawled back up from my backsliding down the hill on God and this time im staying on top. Amen Amen and amen. shouts the little goose chapel saints, as they follow Taylor inside the church ...paw smiled and winked at me , his plan had worked Taylor Bishop had climbed back up the hill thanks to a lemon mule....the end Tweet
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