|Uncle pervis Shames the Family... (standard:humor, 2769 words)|
|Author: stanley mcqueen kentucky backwoods writer||Added: May 01 2007||Views/Reads: 2087/1309||Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)|
|short humor backwood flavor|
Uncle Pervis shame the family Pa come into the shack and his face is red I could tell he was mad, what wrong ask ma who was standing before the cook stove frying potatoes.. its that brother of yours he is in jail in pa said” what on earth has he done this time ma asked looking excited.. well the sheriff said” he caught him down near the river driving a wagon pull my mules and it was full of moonshine whiskey, he said he was drunker than a mouse in a whirle wind ...pappy explained” i seen the sheriff over at the rail head he seen me buying fence post and come and told me this news pa added, he want us to come into the township and try and get that fool brother of yours to shut his trap , the sheriff said he has hollored his fool head off screaming bloody murder... he declares that the wagon load of whiskey is not his and claim he was hired to drive the wagon and team for another fellow whom he want give his name, he told the sheriff he never looked at the cargo in the wagon and that the man who hired him told him it was loaded with sweet corn and wanted him to take it accross the county line to sell to the flat lick folks , who don,t have ground for growing corn to eat...I sware sara that luke is the meanest man in these parts he is alway getting himself in that little hog pen jail house that ain,t big enough to house a fatting hog in, the first place pa said” “the sheriff said he was acting like a wild man in jail carrying on something awful , screaming and keeping everone awake at night with all that holloring and carrying own pa declared” one things is for sure all those people that live in the township of Muddy fork some of them will be picked for the jury and those that live close to the jail and have been kept awake from all his foolisness will want that Pervis hung by the neck till he be dead pa tells ma” we better head into town fast mammy suggested or the town folks will likely linch him before long ...they should pa said it would serve the fool right he added, i help paw harness the team and hook up the wagon up and we headed toward town, before we got to our small town we could hear Pervis screaming and hollowing let me out of this hog pen jail he was screaming to the top of his lungs... listen at that fool brother of mine ma said we can hear that mouth a half mile away i sware he beats all i never saw or steped across she said with fire in her eyes... when we arrive he was looking out the little barred window of the little red jail house , his ugly face was red and that mouth was working like a bee smoker,, maw went toward the jail house window and he seen us pull up in the corn wagon ,, he shouthed to mammy get me out sister i,m a framed man i never new what was in that wagon and i was drunk when i was hired to drive it to the good folks over at flat lick ,, old man lester mooris was the one that hired me and now he want claim the wagon or the whiskey he swares” and keep shacking his old greasy long bushy head of hair ... well you have got your self in a real mess this time mammy tells him in between his shouting and hollering.. if your any kind of a sister at all you help me he beggs mammy.. ive been framed he shouts and repeats the same words....shut that hole in your face and listen mammy said real loud and mean like... we ain,t got nary time to get you a law book laywer so this time your going to get the books of the law throwed at you right between the eyes ....then pervis stick his long toughn at mammy and make a ugle face and called her a traitor to her own blood kin brother... then mammy picked up a balance rock off the jail houe yard and threw it a pervis and nearly hit him and the jail bars took the lick from her rock ,, and if she had hit him she probadly would have been taking his place in jail for murdering her brother...dan durn you fool mammy scorned him.... pa and maw said you was the black sheep in the family and i do expect they was right mammy declared” i had never heard mammy use cuss words before today, and she was madder than a hornet.. if you dont quit this holloring the sheriff expect the town people to brake in his jail and take you out of it and hang that long neck of yours till you look like a long neck goose mammy informed him” im not stopping this shouthing and holloring till i,m a free man again uncle pervis swares”well you cant say that i never tried to talk some smarts into that little brainless noggin of yours mammy reminded him,.. mammy got back atop of the wagon and paw turned the mule team toward the direction of our shack...They just ain,t not helping him at all mammy tells me and paw as we ride the wagon toward our shack that sets about two full miles from our muddy fork township It was about a week later after our trip to calm uncle Pervis down that the sheriff come riding his hoss to our shack ,,, he informed us that uncle trial was set for the next day and if we wanted to come it might be a long time before we ever get to see him if he was sent off to the taylor county prison ,, he said that pervis has everone in town so sleepy and hateful that he has been haveing to brake up a lot of fights Click here to read the rest of this story (130 more lines)
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