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I'm A Writer? (standard:humor, 1572 words)
Author: LoriAdded: May 03 2007Views/Reads: 1784/1092Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
This is a funny little ditty about one person's view on being a writer, what she goes through to get the story told.

I'm a Writer? 

By: Lori 

This is a fun little ditty about one person's views on being a writer,
what she goes through to get the story told. 

Six years ago, I found out what I wanted to do. I decided to become a
writer. Boy, I was going to “change the world,” was going to be the 
best writer and get rave reviews. My work was going to have 
significance, zeal, and passion. I thought it was going to be easy to 
sit down and give everyone my unbiased opinion on what's wrong with 
humanity. Little did I know it's not always so easy. I've since found 
some barriers I have to overcome if I want to be understood. 

The first obstacle is usually the easiest hurdle for me to cross, the
fear of a blank page. When I open my writing program, the white page 
looks like a scary crocodile who's going to eat me if I look him in the 
eye too long. I try to imagine it as a cute bunny rabbit waiting for me 
to give it the love it deserves. This doesn't always work. Sometimes I 
have to close out of the program and do something to take my mind off  
of the ferocious animal scaring back from the computer screen. Or I say 
a prayer for the fear to release me. It's fun to write, and release, a 
story to the world. I love the feeling of making an interesting piece 
or art. We can create masterpieces of the literature world. 

About the time I overcome the fear, questions start crashing in my head.
Does the story have a plot? Do I make the characters plausible? Does it 
have depth? Is there any hidden meaning? Having stories to tell is the 
easy and fun part. I take a character from my head and make them alive. 
Whether the emotions come out or not is up to the reader, the story is 
going to touch people in different ways. Some will cry as I tell the 
story, some will cry because of the way I can't tell the story. It all 
hinges on the reader's opinion. The only thing I can do is pray that my 
point is understood. If it's read and enjoyed I did the job correctly. 
If it's not, then this is just a cheap way to get therapy, and some, 
not so nice, e-mails. 

Obstacle three is the reason I love a good writing program. My lack of
spelling and grammar is deplorable. I find myself getting stumped on 
easy words like the, and, or but. I'm kidding! I take for granted that 
just because a word is in my head I can spell it. Oh no, not anymore. I 
have to spell the word out close enough so Spell Check can give me a 
list of words, then to figure out the one I'm looking for and hope it's 
there. When I can't get close enough to get the list I've got to think 
of another word and go to the Thesaurus to get the word I want to 
spell. “I hope that makes sense,” I say as I stick out my tongue and 
laugh. Please don't get me started on paragraphs! I don't always know 
when to stop and start one. The art of putting sentences together gets 
more difficult too. I find myself wondering if I should create run-on 
sentences. Or should I continue the thought in a one long sentence. 

I'm thinking about going to a nearby community college for a creative
writing course, get someone to teach me AGAIN how to read, write, and 
spell.  But, that thought always raises questions. Do I want to pay 
money for someone to give me their opinion on how I write or that I 
can't write? Why go to that extreme when I can do it here, for you 
people, for free? Sorry, that's funny to me. Oh I've got it!  My 
youngest son, T.J., entered high school this year, he'll have an 
English class. I do crack myself up sometimes. “Come on people, laugh 
WITH me, not AT me!” I cry while busting out laughing. 

The next one is my humor. Something I write may be hilariously funny to
some people. To others, they wonder if I've fallen off my rocker. I've 
gotten e-mails in the past from people who think I'm a kid, or that I 
don't understand the English language. To me, this is funnier then the 
story. It's like I'm a comedian in front of a live audience who's dying 
on stage. I want to shout, “Come on people, this is funny! Don't you 
get the joke?” Not everyone is going to understand my dry sense of 
humor. It's okay if people think I'm nuts or they don't understand what 
I'm trying to say. I don't write for everyone. I write for me and for 
the few people who do, or at least try to, understand me. 

Number five is the fighting in my head. For someone who isn't a writer

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