|Mercy Sakes Alive.. (standard:humor, 2163 words)|
|Author: stanley mcqueen kentucky backwoods writer||Added: May 03 2007||Views/Reads: 2088/1225||Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)|
|backwood times of the old day of mountain folks|
Mercy Sakes Alive Backwood writer Stanley Mcqueen If you you have ever seen My Uncle Willared Bishop you would have described him as a tall wirey man sort of slim loking, his chin is keen and his nose is larger than most peoples are... Willard being Mammy brother and him living pretty close to our place and him visiting us quite often......willard is nearly forty years old and he has never taken a wife to wed , his life consist of working at the Muddy Fork sawmill which sets just a little ways out of Muddy Fork little township, he owns three acres of ground and it lies about a mile down the hollow from our shack...yesterday willard come to our shack and give us some news he is claiming he is getting married in about a month and that he meet his soon to be wife over at the boarding house and fell head long in love with her...she a might big i hear him tell Mammy but we,re going to get hicked he adds , Mammy asked him what part of the country did she come from and he told her she drifted in from over from collins county and got a job at the boarding house tending to the house cleaning about after the boarders who stayed over night there,, she is a real woman he describes her and i watch his keen eyes get bigger with excitement... It was hard to believe that poor old Uncle willard had finely landed him a woman, his old shack was not much to speak of and was in need of some mending , and Mammy asked his a question ?...will your shack floors hold that big woman up Maw asked? looking real serious at him? well im going to lay some more boards over the old board before we get married he tell Maw. i don,t want her falling threw the floor he said”.. well sis and old cuss like me that is forty years old can pick the perfect woman nohow he declared” well willard are you sure your a hankering to marry her or is it that your just lonely and want her around just as company Ma asked him...? well sister it like this a man needs someone to talk to i get so lonely at times after work and setting over there at my shack with just the walls to look at after my days work is done and its worse in the winter time he explains”well there is the question of the old mountain customs that must be carried out ,, the riding of the rail on your part and the tub toteing just has do be done after the wedding is taken place ..your know our beloved pap and mammy who has departed this life left us strick orders that when we ever got married that we must follow there excample to follow conserning mountain ways Mammy remind Willard...i don.t aim to break those rituals he said ‘ but wilma is too big a woman to be carred in a tub she weight nearly for hundred pound willard adds” and i don.t like the idea much of being toted around the districk on a greased pine pole either he said”well me and Frank went threw it and we survived Mammy said “and i don,t want you to break our mountain customs Ma warns him,,, Frank is bound to get the neigbors to help in your pine pole riding and he will cut a slim tall five inch pine tomarrow and will get ready for the cerimony and things will work out fine Mammy assure him... I really don,t know what she will thinks about being carried in a tub uncle willard says” she might not agree with that and then that means trouble she is Big enought to put up a fight he adds”and i don.t what her all scratch up and hurt or nothing uncle willard say looking real conserned about the thought of the event that would take place... It was day or two later that Uncle willard brought his new soon to be wife to our shack to let her meet Mammy and pappy and me,, this is frank my brother in law and lester my nephew and of course my sister Sara , the big woman said a course howdy and she was long in getting off the wagon her being such a heafty gal and all,, she was sort of pretty in the face and had black hair , when she intered our shack i heard some boards crack under her weight , it was sort of a shameful thing on our parts and her face got red because she heared the boards cracking under her feet...Mammy told her to take a seat in one of the hickory chairs that paw had made for setting chairs ,, the big gal lowered herself down on the chair and when her full weight was added and she let go to set down ..that hictory chair broke right out from under her and she crashed down hard on the shack floor and the whole shack treambled at the sudden impact of her weight.. it was most embarring and maw and paw face then got red . and willard helped her manage to get back up to standing and asked? her was she hurt? just my pride she said” and then somehow someone laughed and then we all busted out laughing in a cheerful way not to hurt her feelings..paw tried to explain the chair breaking away on his part of maybe not making them strong and that just made things look worse,, im not the smartest young man in these parts nor do i claim to be ..but i new well why that chair busted, I new one things for sure that Uncle willard was getting more than he bargin for,. it was desited that we all take go back to the yard of our shack where some large stumps were Click here to read the rest of this story (83 more lines)
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