|Water melon Contest (standard:humor, 1356 words)|
|Author: stanley mcqueen kentucky backwoods writer||Added: Jul 20 2007||Views/Reads: 1904/0||Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)|
|short backwood tale|
Watermelon Contest My Paw is a farmer and a good one to say the least, his name is Nath we are Turners by our last name, there is three of us and we live near the little sandy river in a small shack, out little farm runs along the sandy bottoms of the river and most of is fertile land. Our little one horse town is small and it only has about eight building and they are crudely built like ever dwelling is among these parts. Every year at the beginning of fall we have county fair and it is the biggest event that happing in these parts, ever one bring there fruits to the fair and they are judged by special folks that have and eye for quality , my dear paw has tried for five long years to grow the biggest water melon and has failed so far. This year there is a big reward for the biggest and best looking melon and a bounty of four hundred dollars which is a lot of money to say the least, well my good Paw has planted a large patch of melon along side the river this year and they have done so well he is bragging and thinks he has the biggest melon, he took me and Maw to see his patch and behold he has the biggest melon that I or anyone else has ever seen , he has tended to these melon like a cow would to a new calf, we are setting at the supper table and he is talking about that melon. Maw say he has melon on the brain , he is so excited and hopeful this year that he has the contest in the bag, he is already talking about what he is going to buy with the contest money , and Ma tells him not to count his chickens before they hatch. Well Sara paw says looks like I will be able to buy you a sewing machine and that new dress that you have had your eye on that is in the general store for sure when I win all that money paw tells Maw as we are hoeing corn on the ridge above our shack, well Nath like I have told you before someone might have a bigger melon that the one you have grown, replied Maw as she cut weeds out of our late corn patch, paw he don't listen to maw and just knows he is going to be the winner. Well woman its just three more week till the fair and then you'll see who wins paw Bragg every day paw visits the water melon patch and he stand and admires the big melon. I bet that melon would weight eighty or ninety pounds he tell me , boy ain,t she a beauty . Let me tell you a secret son do you know how I got that melon to grow so big he asked, well no paw I don't know How I asked' well don't let it out son , but I used chicken manure from your mother chicken lot he says smiling and admiring his giant melon that sets so proudly in the patch beside the river, it was near the time of the fair and paw had become so excited and says he can't wait hardly for the time to pass, then the day before the fair finely come to pass and paw was going to pick the melon on the morning before the fair so it might gain and extra ounce. We all headed off toward the river and was soon at the patch paw hitched up the wagon and took us along so me and him could tote the melon on the back of the wagon and he heaped a bail of straw in the back of the wagon so that the melon wouldn't bust by the many bumps In the rough wagon trails that lead to our small town ,when we arrive we got the surprise of our lives the melon was gone , paw got off the wagon and his face got real red and he went to cussing something fierce and me and Maw was afraid to say a word he was furious and he sort of like went off in his head and went to busting melons and throwing them in the river and carrying on something awful, someone has come in here last night and stole my melon and im destroyed. I should have pulled it off the vine last night instead of waiting till this morning, well that has done it he cusses and seems to have lost his mind sort of and me and maw are afraid to say anything to him he is so mad.After a lot of cussing and going on finely he comes to his senses and get atop the wagon and declares that he is finished ever trying to win the contest ever again, he drives us back to our shack and maw asked him was he still going into town to the contest and he says yes we are going and I might find out who stole my melon , whoever stole it might inter it into the contest he added. We hurried on to town and when we got there people was everywhere , the tables were along side the small streets was line with the fruits of contest and kids run everywhere this was a grand day here at sandy bottom township a grand day for everyone but my angry paw. Paw parked the wagon and tied the mules to a tree, and we went up and down the side of the road seeing if we could located paws stole melon, when we got to the four tables that held the melons that was entered, we never seen a melon that looked to be paws” paw was so mad and would have whipped someone if he has found his melons among the many melons that was entered and me and maw was glad he never found it among the other melon, the judges come along side the melons and inspected them all carefully and then they set down on some benches that was in front of all those beautiful melons, and paw stared at them with mean looking eyes knowing that he was not included in the contest, then one of the head judges come to the side of one of the tables and then he says ladies and gentlemen we have a winner it's Nath Turner, paw eyes bulge out and then we watch as two strong men come carrying paw big melon that they had hide under the table , folks cheered as paw walked up to the judge , and the judge handed paw four fresh hundred dollar bills and a blue ribbon. Nath we stole that melon as a joke , we done it for fun and let me tell you this I have judged melons contest for many years now and this here melon is the biggest I ever seen grown anywhere it weight ninety five pounds and us judges slipped around people water melons patch just to sort of see what kind of melons was growing for the contest and we knew before hand that yours was the biggest and the best looking melon any of us had ever saw, so we thought we have a little fun with you before hand declared the judge , well judges “you fellow cause me to bust ever melon in my patch I was so riled paw says” and the people roared in laughter ,, paw was the proudest man in little sandy township and this was the grandest day ever for us turners . Maw would get a new sewing machine and a new dress to sport around in the district, and paw would sleep with his blue ribbon above his bedstead ,if I should live to be a hundred years old I shall never forget the year my good paw won the little sandy water melon contest, THE END Tweet
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