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Lazy Jim (standard:humor, 1460 words)
Author: stanley mcqueen kentucky backwoods writerAdded: Jul 26 2007Views/Reads: 2438/1341Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
short back wood story

Click here to read the first 75 lines of the story

had a contestant to be laying down ,, this here fellow has won the 
contest, and the two hundred dollars goes to that sorry rascal there on 
the bed .. The tall judge come over to Jim with the two fresh hundred 
dollars bills and take his hand to reach it to Jim who is laying on the 
bed, and Jim tells that judge if you don't mind just stick the money in 
my front pocket . That he is too tired to reach and get it from the 
judges hand,.. Then the crowd busted out laughing and the judges 
laughed with the crowd.. And there laid old lazy jim to sorry to raised 
his head up to ever look at the fair crowd...he had won it fair and 
square and that was a fact. They loaded his lazy butt back on the wagon 
and toted him back inside the shack, and that next morning me and Nath 
decided that we would brake that lazy rascal from pooping off the face 
of the window landing and put a stop to that for good, the night before 
we took the buck shot our of a twelve gauge shot gun shell and loaded 
it back with rock salt. And we new about what time he took his window 
poop and we hide in the thicket with paw old twelve gage and we loaded 
the chamber with the shot gun  shell filled with rock salt. It was near 
seven in the morning when he raised his bed room window and stuck his 
white butt out the window for his morning poop .. And my friend Nath 
drawn down on his white protruding butt and took careful aim and pulled 
the trigger and rock salt peppered his behind and his butt went inside 
the room like a flash of lighting, me and Nath run like turkeys afraid 
his paw would discover us in the thicket and see us with the Gun.... 
well son from that day forward we never got nary report by passers by 
that anyone seen him pooping again out of  the window... now son don't 
that beat anything you ever hear of ? Well paw I answered with a 
chuckle...Nope Paw that takes the cake for sure I answered... then I 
asked paw what ever become of lazy Jim ? And paw answered he fell from 
the window seal of two story house taking a poop and broke his fool 
neck. Paw busted out laughing at his own words.. The end


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