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TAXI RIDE (standard:humor, 648 words)
Author: Danny ZilAdded: Jan 16 2009Views/Reads: 2436/1564Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Nothing unusual about this late night taxi ride.


I was drivin my taxi one night when I stopped an picked this guy up.
“Where to buddy ?” I asked as he slipped into the back seat. 

“I have to go back,“ he told me. 

“Back where ?” 

“Back in time.” 

I glanced at him in the rear-view. “Well that's no problem,” I told him,
“but you realise there's a boundary charge if we leave this century ?” 

“That's okay,” he replied. “I know an Alchemist.” 

“An Alchemist !” I scoffed. “All they're good for is makin lead. I don't
take lead.” 

He laughed. “That's just what Jackie Kennedy said,” he told me. 

“Hey, I was related to Jackie Kennedy once,” I informed him. 

“There's no doubt abut that,” he remarked, “I recognise your hairstyle.”

“Yeah I know - blood suits me,” I said dryly. 

He was silent for a couple of minutes, just starin out the window then
he turned an spoke again. “My sister had a kid one time an he couldn't 
do a thing for himself because he was a mongol,” he told me. “They 
called him Genghis Khant.” 

“Too bad,” I sympathised. “Mind if I smoke ?” 

“Good idea,” he replied, tossing a zipped leather pouch onto the
passenger seat next to me. “Roll one with mine.” 

I rolled a thick one an we smoked. We sat awhile just smoking an starin
out at the traffic. I noticed a subtle change in the night. Like 
dimensions were slowly alterin. I realised this was good weed. 

“So which century do you want to go back to ?” I asked him eventually. 

“Take a wild guess,” he told me an started takin off his overcoat. 

I turned for a look an saw he was wearin the outfit of a Captain in the
SS. He brought out a peaked cap complete with its Death's Head badge an 
put it on. 

“Berlin. November 1941. Outside the Reichstag,” he instructed. “I have
to pick up a package.” 

“Okay. When we get there should I wait ?” I asked. 

“Yeah,” he replied. “Keep the engine runnin. I won't be long.” 

I cruised off, headin to the slip-way for the time-travel highway. We
smoked as we drove. I enjoy a smoke when I'm drivin at night. How time 
flies when you're enjoyin yourself. An so it flew. Back the way. Good 
job I was licensed for time-travel. 

Berlin,1941, outside the Reichstag. Swastika flags everywhere. Good
natured Nazis prowled the streets, stoppin Jews an tellin them jokes an 
givin them cigarettes. I was goin to get out for a piss then remembered 
I was circumcised - Christ, I hate jokes. 

We parked an the Captain slipped out into the night. 

As I sat there waitin, footsteps approached. They stopped at the car an
I glanced up. A guy in a black overcoat flashed his Gestapo badge at me 
an motioned for me to roll down the window. 

When I did he bent down an conveniently spoke in English. “I suffer from
reverse paranoia,” he informed me. 

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