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Uncle Melvin (standard:humor, 2757 words)
Author: stanley mcqueen kentucky backwoods writerAdded: May 10 2009Views/Reads: 1891/1254Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Back woods tales of old days and times passed

Uncle Melvin 

Paw set at the supper table he is nibbling on large pone of maw corn
bread, and talking at the same time, guess you all know who is coming 
to visit this Saturday he asked? And looked to us at the table for And 
answer, well maw was the first to bellow back at paw question, I 
suppose it that old sot brother of yours that is coming maw replied! 
Now woman don't have talk like that before the children, so Melvin hit 
the jug now and again, but he's not so bad a sort he just hasn't got a 
wife to tend to and that keeps him lonely and most likely that why he 
drinks whiskey because he is so lonely living on that poor old ridge 
yonder in Taylor county, give his some slack woman he not so bad of 
sort he is my brother anyhow and that makes him a part of this family 
and I be dogged if I am having you slander his name before little red 
and  Ervin our boys that is setting here at this table listing to ever 
word that is said” paw remind maw. If you was half the man you should 
be you would run him off the place, maw suggest, now see here woman 
there you go again hurting my feeling, Ervin take red and go to the 
wood pile and cut up maw some fire wood for the cook stove while me and 
your maw has a talk, paw tell me. Paw and maw always make us me and 
little red leave the room when there is some talk they don't want us to 
hear. Red and I make our way out of the kitchen and do as paw has 
commanded, I know maw is right about uncle Melvin , ever spring that he 
shows up there is trouble of some kind, last summer he come and got our 
nearest neighbors in a quarrel with paw and maw, the Turners family 
lives about a mile around the ridge from our place they own about the 
same land as paw does about sixty acres more or less , and nary bit of 
our land or their land has a fence on it because paw and old man Turner 
don't have no money to buy wire to fence their land ,Melvin had been 
taking a walk one even last year in the cool of the day and was near 
the land boundary of paw and old man turner, and he seen old man Tuners 
boys clearing some grown near the line and they dug out a stump and 
rolled it off onto paw land, and what did Uncle Melvin do he hurried 
back to our place and told paw about the Turner putting stumps and 
brush over on our land, and paw got mad and went over to old man Turner 
place and inquired about the boys putting tree stump over on paw land , 
and paw and Turner had harsh words and hasn't spoke to each other in 
now almost a full year, and before Melvin come here on our place us 
Bishops got along good with our neighbors the Turners. Maw was right 
about Melvin he was a nosey man that just love to start trouble, and 
his drinking was another thing that trouble Maw  her being a saint at 
the little rock chapel church and trying to live like the lord would 
have a woman to live here in these parts” Summer before that summer 
when he come he got paw drunk down at the township , paw let him go 
along on the wagon to help pick up some seeds at the township for 
planting corn season, and Melvin ,according to paw insisted that he and 
paw have a drink at the small saloon because it was a trifling hot day 
out in May and Melvin claim to paw that he has swallowed a swallowed a 
grass hopper that never went down his throat and was hung in his 
tonsils' and was chocking him and causing his to cough , Melvin told  
paw that the grasshopper was kicking around  in his throat and  he 
needed something to wash the kicking hopper on down, and paw fell for 
Melvin trick to visit the saloon and to make a long story short that 
was paw tale to Maw , Maw asked Paw why he come in drunk as well as 
Melvin and paw never and answer for that question. And maw is right 
some men just go looking for trouble and Melvin was numbered in those 
types of fellows, I dreaded seeing Melvin showing up but as usually he 
come on Saturday just as paw has said' maw was washing some clothes out 
in the nearby creek when Melvin come riding that old poor mule of his 
that looked like a razor blade you could see ever rib, maw accused him 
of starving his mule and that makes paw mad , this Time he come singing 
and was drunk and happy as a lark he spoke a howdy to maw when he 
passed her at the creek and tip his hat and she never even spoke to 
him, he asked Me and Red to take his mule to the barn shed and  told us 
to fetch paw from the corn field where he was plowing out corn , I sent 
Red to fetch paw and I took his mule to the barn, like he ordered, Well 
boys “it's good to be back here at horse creek again, among my kin, he 
tells me and Red, little Fred have you been fishing this spring yet he 
asked me?  I answered him with a yes and his eyes were blood shot from 
the strong whiskey he always carried in his saddle bag , paw come to 
the shack and him and Melvin shook hands and hugged each other, it was 
like this ever year , he come to visit for the one purpose of eating 
maw good grub, and setting under the big oak tree in the yard and 
watches me and paw chop weeds out of the garden and corn patches that 
are planted along the slopes of our little farm,  growing corn is the 

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