SKYTREK - CHAPTER 3 (standard:humor, 3893 words) [3/15] show all parts
Author: Danny Miami	Added: May 01 2010	Views/Reads: 1992/1534	Part vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Chapter 3 of the Star Trek parody.

CHAPTER THREE 

“When you've travelled in Space as much as I have you get to realise one
thing about the Universe – it's a pretty untidy place. I mean, all 
those planets and stars and galaxies just scattered around at random. I 
think the Good Force should have tidied Space up a bit after He created 
it...or is this just the beta version?” 

CAPTAIN KORK 

PART ONE 

In the heart of the Avalon System, dawn was breaking on the planet
Dulcodaz. Its twin suns lazily nudged each other, rubbed the sleep from 
their eyes and slowly began to climb up the sky, slowly sending glowing 
yellow fingers of warmth and light across the land. 

In the stillness of the morning the door of the Observatory creaked open
and an elderly robed figure came out. It was the same white haired old 
Astronomer who had earlier been controlling Kharg's decoy ship for him 
and plotting the course of the Orion and he hurried along the path to 
the palace as fast as his protesting joints permitted. 

Kharg and Giraffe had arrived on Dulcodaz one week ago and within an
hour of his arrival Kharg had deposed the planet's ruler and had taken 
over his palace for his own purposes...which just happened to be the 
next stage in his plans to rule the Universe. 

“My Lord Kharg will be pleased with the news,” the elderly Astronomer
muttered to himself, rubbing his hands together. “He will reward me 
well. Damn! First I have to get past that absolute pig of a Guard.” 

He stopped and stroked his flowing white beard as he considered a way
round the problem. “I know!” he said, his face brightening. “I'll tell 
him I need a part for one of the scanners. Yes that should do it. He 
doesn't know what a scanner is anyway, the drunken swine.” 

Pleased with his plan the old man hurried along the path, gathering his
robe tightly about him in the chill morning air. He stopped before the 
heavy outer door of the palace and knocked on it. 

“Come on, come on you stupid pig!” he muttered, shivering in the cold. 

A metal panel in the door slid open and a face appeared - an ugly,
greasy face. 

Immediately the old Astronomer's demeanour changed. “Ah good morning,
sir!” he gushed, smiling and bowing. “What a simply marvellous day it 
promises--” 

“Fuck off,” grunted the Guard and slid the panel shut. 

Undeterred, the old Astronomer knocked on the door again. “Sir! Oh sir!
Your Excellency!” 

The panel slid open again. 

“Sorry to be such a nuisance,” the old Astronomer said apologetically,
“but I have to come inside. I need a part for one of the scanners.” 

“Come back later,” the Guard grunted. 

“No no. I need it just now. Right away.” 

The panel slid shut and the old man heard the sounds of bolts being
drawn back. He smiled to himself and did a little victory dance then as 
the door began to open he reverted to his humble, fawning pose. 

“Ah, thank you, thank you. A thousand tha--” he began then stopped when
he saw the laser pistol in the Guard's grubby hand. The Guard grinned 
at him, showing his rotten brown teeth. “Think I'm daft?” he said. 
“You've got a message for Kharg, haven't you?” 

“A message for Kharg? Me?” the old Astronomer repeated in astonishment,
raising his hands to the heavens. “Don't be foolish. What message 


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