|DeWitt (standard:humor, 1053 words)|
|Author: BENTLINK||Added: Sep 19 2010||Views/Reads: 1937/1089||Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)|
|Two boys get famous by just showing a little ivory to the wrong people.|
DEWITT “You know I am really surprised to see you guys looking just like all the other good ol' boys from around here. Any time I think of government men I figure neckties, funeral suits and shined up town shoes. I don't see John Deere tractor hats and knee wore out blue jeans. No way could I tell you guys were sniffing around here for criminals till I saw the badges and you had these handcuffs on me. Oh sure I can talk to you about DeWitt without having no lawyer here cause he is not even 18 yet. DeWitt he is not really a bad to the bone type of a boy it was just that he is very smart in some ways and because of that and that he was brought up without a daddy gets him into trouble some. Now I won't try to tell you folks that he does not know what is right from wrong but he just gets so caught up in things some times that he sort of forgets to look out for himself. I am just sure, as anything that this business here was like that you know it just got away from him before he could think it through real good. Oh yes that is his first name, birth certificate legal, born in a hospital official and everything. See the thing is DeWitt's mom; she would be Ann Dean who was pregnant big as a dodge pickup, just at the end of summer vacation from her junior year in high school when Tom DeWitt the oldest grandson of old Mr. DeWitt went off to college back east and somehow forgot all about getting his girlfriend Miss Ann in a family way. So Ann and her mom decided that if the baby could not have his daddy's last name legal like then by Jesus he was going to have what should have been his last name first. So that's how come he ends up being DeWitt or so everybody says. Course year's back when he was born there was a lot of talk about why Ann was late getting started on her senior year and all, but she did graduate high school. That is a lot better than the runaway daddy was doing over east. The way I hear it he got put out of three paid up big schools before finely getting a half assed diploma from some little Agriculture place down south. Well sure, I aim to get to the part about the leftover paint but you got to understand that DeWitt is a friend of mine and I am hoping to get you to see how this came to be and go easy on him. We got interested in the birds when one of the boys around town told us about some nest he knew of back over in the swamps. No sir I do not want to give you this other boy's name. Well sir because that's another friend I would be getting into trouble over this leftover paint thing and there's no sense in anyone else having you guys after them beside he would almost for sure know who told on him. Anyhow as I was saying DeWitt and me got this little boat, a big long ladder and the left over paint and went out in the swamp bird hunting. We started out thinking that hauling that ladder around with both ends sticking out of the boat and getting hung up on every sapling and snag between here and the Gulf of Mexico was turning out to be the worst of it. But of course, it weren't the worst at all now that you guys got me in handcuffs and are looking to grab DeWitt. I don't know how much you know about woodpecker hunting... Now don't get all snotty I know you're with the U. S. God blessed government department of birds but all I'm trying to say is we had one hell of a time finding even one nest. Anyhow, we found this one nest, set up the ladder and put this leftover white house paint around the edge of the nest. Sure enough in just no time mom and dad woodpecker came home to see about things and got in the paint. Because DeWitt told me, we could get ourselves famous down here in south Arkansas by turning a regular big woodpecker into this here distinct bird just by getting white on its wings and underside. Then we could make some money rowing people out into the swamp to help them look for this distinct bird and we might even get a motor and bigger boat. Click here to read the rest of this story (27 more lines)
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