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Crocophile (standard:humor, 2251 words)
Author: Austen BraukerAdded: Oct 05 2010Views/Reads: 1954/905Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
A couples realizes that what is important in life, in the face of impending armageddon is each other...and the appropriate footwear.
 



CROCOPHILE 

By Austen Brauker 

Characters: A man and a woman, Jorge and Martah, married couple, middle
aged. 

Setting: suburbs, middle class home, living room area. Background sound:
a humming noise that is constant and getting louder throughout the 
play, until later when it becomes very apparent-almost as loud as their 
voices.) 

INTRO SCENE: (they have the TV on, listening intently to a news
broadcast, the man is watching out the window with a pair of 
binoculars. A loud explosion occurs from outside. Jorge ducks and then 
gets back up to peer through the window with the binoculars again. 
There is firelight reflecting off of his face, coming in through the 
window, along with occasional flashes of red and blue emergency lights 
and sirens. The television reports that there is “chaos in the 
streets”, “all airports are closed”, “the military is mobilizing to 
keep the peace in every major city in the country.” Martah is sitting 
in a chair, there is a small box next to her on the floor.) 

JORGE: There goes the Phillips boy. (Jorge watches him with the
binoculars.) What's he think he's doing? ....He's climbing up the 
television tower....Got a gun and somethin' else...I can't tell what... 
maybe a duffel bag hanging off his shoulder. What does he...? 

MARTAH: (interrupting) Oh Jorge! I can't believe this is really
happening. Its just...(she begins to cry into her hands.) 

JORGE: Wait Martah. Here comes somebody else....why, it's...it's Dan
Melvin, the guy from the shoe store!...the place where they sell those 
god-awful crocs. I hate those damn things. Wouldn't be caught dead in 
them. (He takes his eyes away from the binoculars and looks at Martah.) 
They say the president owns a pair...but you know Martah, they aren't 
as comfortable as everybody says....in fact..... 

MARTAH: Oh Jorge, who cares!? (Martah is emotionally distraught,
blotting her eyes with a tissue.) Look what's happening out there! How 
can  you care about your stupid shoes at a time like this! (Martah 
cries again, into her cupped hands. She takes a small blanket from the 
back of the chair she is sitting in and covers the box next to her on 
the floor. ) 

JORGE: Well Martah, I'll have you know that a time like this is exactly
when people should be thinking about their shoes. That's for certain. 
Shoes are an investment. In fact, at a time like this, something like a 
pair of shoes can make or break a man. (He looks back up at the tower.) 
Oh my god! The Phillips kid almost fell. See dear, right there is a 
perfect example. It looks like that Phillips boy doesn't even have his 
shoes tied. Here he is...tryin' to climb something like a television 
tower and doesn't even tie his shoes! Can you believe that! (Jorge is 
smug.) That's exactly what went wrong with this world, things like 
that. 

MARTAH: (sighs with disgust, changes her tone as she focuses on Jorge.)
Jorge, you really are something else. Of all things... You're worried 
about whether or not that Phillips kid has his shoes tied or not. (She 
applies some lip stick.) Honestly, you amaze me Jorge. (She checks 
herself in the mirror.) The world-bank takes over global control, buys 
our military for their own police force...and here you are worrying 
about somebody's shoe bein' untied. That's just like you Jorge. (She 
wells up again with emotion before continuing.) Just like how you put 
everything we owned into that stupid money market. (then under her 
breath.) Shows how much you know about investment. 

JORGE: HA! His shoe just fell off. I told you! ......I told
you!.....wait.....What's he doing now? ......(Jorge adjusts the 
binoculars)  He's tryin' to get to his gun. Got his arm hooked over the 
bar. ...Holy crap, he's gonna fall I tell ya.....he's gonna 
fall....kids got one shoe on.... He's pointin' at somethin'? (Jorge 
lowers the binoculars to ground level where the Phillips boy is 
pointing his rifle). Oh my god. Its Professor Sneidel, you know, that 
teacher from over at the community college, remember him? He's got a 


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