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Animal Recyclers (standard:humor, 1433 words)
Author: JuggernautAdded: Nov 03 2010Views/Reads: 1544/1417Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
A funny story on animal rendering business.

Animal Recyclers 


Subba Rao 

A cow named Moe, Polly, a Berkshire hog, and Fowler, a hen were
attending a conference of animal recyclers.  They arrived at the 
convention center enthusiastically to learn on all four or two legs, 
how the animal recycling business is conducted. 

At the registration desk, Moe for the first time met with Polly and

“Hi, I am from Wisconsin and you are from?” asked Moe, a Holstein cow. 

“I am from Rhode Island,” replied Fowler, the brown hen. 

“And, I am from Iowa,” said, Polly the Pig. 

The convention center is several thousand square feet, and full of
exhibits and booths managed by people from meat, animal rendering and 
feed industry. 

Polly walked slowly along side Moe, a black and white Holstein, and
Fowler walked fast to keep pace with his two new friends. 

“Look, at that white Ongole bull from India.  The Ongoles are lean
animals known for their strength to pull farm equipment,” said Moe, and 
exchanged few courtesy words with the Ongole bull while he walked pass 

“I bet the Ongoles could have been well suited to pull the wagons on the
Oregon trail,” commented Fowler looking at the Ongole with respect. 

The three friends then entered Jersey cow arena, a guy handed over a
pamphlet comparing milk production of Jersey cows with Holsteins. 
“Rubbish, we give more milk than Jersey cows any time, besides their 
brown hair coat is boring.” “I would rather prefer Brahman, a white 
sacred cow from India. I envy those holy cows of India, I wish I was 
born there to escape slaughter here as you know Hindus don't slaughter 
cattle as they consider them sacred,” Moe tried to impart her worldly 
knowledge on Polly and Fowler. 

Weighing just around 400 pounds, Polly was slow in moving. She did not
appreciate the fact that some people particularly the English use 
derogatory expression “you bloody swine,” or the American slang “you 

“People bad mouth us for cussing each other, and yet pay hefty price for
mouth watering juicy pork chops, rack of ribs, or Jamaican jerk pork 
and Hawaiian whole pig roast,” fumed Polly walking with dangling 
overweight belly.  Fowler and Moe totally agreed with Polly. 

Outside the conference arena, a group of people staged a protest march
for humane treatment of animals while transporting them to 
slaughterhouses. “Just imagine the hypocrisy, humane treatment before 
slaughter.  If people were really humane, they should let us go free 
into wilderness, we would join our brethren, the wild boar,” Polly 
snorted wiggling its short tail. 

Polly came across a potbellied pig, a new breed of pig that spends more
time indoors as a household pet like dog or a cat. “Lucky you,” Polly 
threw a jealous smile at the pot belly pig. “A pig can never be a pet, 
more we were fed, more weight we gain, and at the end, the owners would 
dump us at a humane society or animal orphanage center,” “we are only 
good for making bacon.” “People value us for our bellies and ribs, some 
people eat chittlins, a fancy name for our guts as if they don't want 
to leave anything to waste.”  “In Hawaii, we are buried in full body in 
a hole full of hot volcanic rocks to roast for full twelve hours.”  
“From a pet to bacon to whole body roast, a full circle of life to a 
rotund body of ours.” Polly's thoughts went wary as she walked pass 
Hampshire black hog with a white belt from Scotland. 

“ I am with you Polly, how many people know that our guts are also

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