|Animal Recyclers (standard:humor, 1433 words)|
|Author: Juggernaut||Added: Nov 03 2010||Views/Reads: 1414/1324||Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)|
|A funny story on animal rendering business.|
Animal Recyclers By Subba Rao A cow named Moe, Polly, a Berkshire hog, and Fowler, a hen were attending a conference of animal recyclers. They arrived at the convention center enthusiastically to learn on all four or two legs, how the animal recycling business is conducted. At the registration desk, Moe for the first time met with Polly and Fowler. “Hi, I am from Wisconsin and you are from?” asked Moe, a Holstein cow. “I am from Rhode Island,” replied Fowler, the brown hen. “And, I am from Iowa,” said, Polly the Pig. The convention center is several thousand square feet, and full of exhibits and booths managed by people from meat, animal rendering and feed industry. Polly walked slowly along side Moe, a black and white Holstein, and Fowler walked fast to keep pace with his two new friends. “Look, at that white Ongole bull from India. The Ongoles are lean animals known for their strength to pull farm equipment,” said Moe, and exchanged few courtesy words with the Ongole bull while he walked pass him. “I bet the Ongoles could have been well suited to pull the wagons on the Oregon trail,” commented Fowler looking at the Ongole with respect. The three friends then entered Jersey cow arena, a guy handed over a pamphlet comparing milk production of Jersey cows with Holsteins. “Rubbish, we give more milk than Jersey cows any time, besides their brown hair coat is boring.” “I would rather prefer Brahman, a white sacred cow from India. I envy those holy cows of India, I wish I was born there to escape slaughter here as you know Hindus don't slaughter cattle as they consider them sacred,” Moe tried to impart her worldly knowledge on Polly and Fowler. Weighing just around 400 pounds, Polly was slow in moving. She did not appreciate the fact that some people particularly the English use derogatory expression “you bloody swine,” or the American slang “you pig.” “People bad mouth us for cussing each other, and yet pay hefty price for mouth watering juicy pork chops, rack of ribs, or Jamaican jerk pork and Hawaiian whole pig roast,” fumed Polly walking with dangling overweight belly. Fowler and Moe totally agreed with Polly. Outside the conference arena, a group of people staged a protest march for humane treatment of animals while transporting them to slaughterhouses. “Just imagine the hypocrisy, humane treatment before slaughter. If people were really humane, they should let us go free into wilderness, we would join our brethren, the wild boar,” Polly snorted wiggling its short tail. Polly came across a potbellied pig, a new breed of pig that spends more time indoors as a household pet like dog or a cat. “Lucky you,” Polly threw a jealous smile at the pot belly pig. “A pig can never be a pet, more we were fed, more weight we gain, and at the end, the owners would dump us at a humane society or animal orphanage center,” “we are only good for making bacon.” “People value us for our bellies and ribs, some people eat chittlins, a fancy name for our guts as if they don't want to leave anything to waste.” “In Hawaii, we are buried in full body in a hole full of hot volcanic rocks to roast for full twelve hours.” “From a pet to bacon to whole body roast, a full circle of life to a rotund body of ours.” Polly's thoughts went wary as she walked pass Hampshire black hog with a white belt from Scotland. “ I am with you Polly, how many people know that our guts are also Click here to read the rest of this story (107 more lines)
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